
Baron Davis' beard obviously has a life, nay, universe of its own. The reason why he's playing like someone entered the cheat code for 'Playoffs: God Mode' has to be because of his majestic facial hair, and it's hard to think of another reason why. How else can you explain all that he's been able to do thus far? Must be the beard.
Which is why I've carefully dissected how The Beard gets its powers: it lives off the energy of the outside world, just like how Superman needs the sun (ah! another god-like metaphor!) and attracts all the positive energy/people possible. I can only dream of one day rocking such a powerful weapon *sigh*.
(Photos in above: Rocky Widner; Gareth Cattermole, Getty Images)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
5-01-2007 @ 12:37PM
arf said...
"The Dirk will squash the baron like a little bug that he is, & the barons teeth will fall to the floor
& bounce all the way to the feet of Jessica Alba, she will pick them up & throw them into the stands, the morons will fight for them & stick them into their own mouth & use them as a grill, for they're just as much of a loser as the baron."
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5-01-2007 @ 3:19PM
Miss Gossip said...
First of all, Dirk isn't going to squash Baron. But even *if* he did, the magical beard would prevent his teeth from falling out. DUH!!!
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5-01-2007 @ 3:39PM
TheHype said...
Gossip knows the power of the beard! Though I must say arf's comment is delicious only because he/she put it in quotes... that's just genius.
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5-01-2007 @ 6:24PM
Ray said...
No more injuries, Baron. That's your answer. Beat the Mavs! Shave those beard, man! Hook up with Alba cuz she's hot. DUH! Whatever.
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5-02-2007 @ 11:43PM
yoMama said...
hahahaha...arf, you have got to be kidding me.
Dirk is probably one of the ugliest creatures i've EVER seen.
and about Dallas's PF/C/Ogre squashing baron....you are OUT OF YOUR MIND. If i got a dollar for each time baron criss crossed big bad dirk and broke his goofy and clumsy ankles, I'd have quite a hunk of change.
But in all seriousness, Dirk couldn't defend a rock if he tried. And for this reason, "the prospective MVP" is one of the most overrated players in the league today. He can shoot the ball lights out...but that's about it. And his blocking ability...well, he IS playing the smallest team in the league...so if he doesn't get his share of swats, he honestly should leave the NBA.
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5-10-2007 @ 12:41PM
jimmy lafontaine said...
Jackass- The Dirk blows. The Beard kicked his ass. Ha ha ha!!
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