FanHouse

Late last week, the Boston Red Sox announced the most special of special things: a chance to be president of Red Sox Nation! Apparently as long as someone nominates you, you're in the hunt on the fan club's official Web site. There are some nice perks such as tickets to games, a trip to Spring Training and use of a Fenway Park suite.

All and all, a pretty sweet gig if one is elected.

Resident ESPN Red Sox fan Bill Simmons threw his name into the ring recently with a tongue and in cheek application. (I've provided that for you after the jump.) And Jerry Remy, Red Sox announcer and acting president for now, took him to task for it on-air, going so far as throwing his letter in the trash. This was rather tongue in cheek as well -- although I could see where some were confused and thought it was real. I certainly did at first. You can get a full transcript of Remy's ripfest on Simmons at Boston Dirt Dogs or Awful Annnoucing. Pretty funny stuff.

So to recap: this was all one big joke for both parties involved. Man, how fun is this? Red Sox Nation 4 eva!

(Big ups to Boston Sports Media Watch for clearing up the confusion on this one.)

This is Bill Simmons' faux application:

I'm running for the President of Red Sox Nation for ten reasons.

First, I've always wanted to be the President of something; at this point, I don't really care what it is.

Second, I think I can get free tickets out of this.

Third, I heard Mike O'Malley might run and, as much as I enjoy his work, we can't let him be President after he already subjected us to seven years of "Yes, Dear."

Fourth, I'm the guy who once wrote a column called "Why Roger Clemens is the Anti-Christ," you have to vote me just for that.

Fifth, unlike with that chainsmoker Jerry Remy, you'd never have to worry about my health during my tenure - and even if something does happen to me, you'll be in capable hands with my running mate, Rich Garces.

Sixth, I dressed up as Fred Lynn for two straight Halloweens in '75 and '76 - even as a kid, I was making great decisions.

Seventh, I'm sure you have people in your life - in the office, in your dorm, in your family - who claim to be true Sox fans but couldn't pick Todd Benzinger or Dewey Evans out of a police lineup. I'm going to create a nationwide competency test to weed out these bandwagon jerks.

Eighth, I spent the last four years in California learning about political leadership from the great Arnold Schwarzenegger - with that kind of training, I'm going to be unstoppable.

Ninth, I have not one, not two but THREE friends named Sully. That has to count for something.

And tenth, I'm going to use my presidential powers to get more free stuff for kids - free Red Sox Nation memberships, free tickets, free stuff from the Pro Shop and everything else. Vote for Simmons or you're basically admitting that you don't care about kids.