En Espanol
Feedback

FanHouse

FanHouse

Resources

Email our editors with your tips, corrections, complaints, inquiries, suggestions, etc.

Blog Roll

Handicapping the Hottest Female Athletes: From Four to Two

Eamonn BrennanPosted Aug 22nd 2007 5:30AM by Eamonn Brennan

It's that time of the week again, the time when we overanalyze female appearance and feel slightly uneasy about it, all in the name of healthy competition and a grand old time. We're getting down to the nitty gritty, so before we take a look at the final matchup, let's go to last week's results:

The Surprises: It's hard to claim a "surprise" when you're talking about the Final Four, but surprises still ruled the day in the semifinals. On one side of the bracket, upstart Ashley Force won the battle of the attractive drivers by a relatively wide margin, beating Danica Patrick 67%-33%. Patrick had barely skated by in all of the previous rounds, and was by far the shakiest of the top seeds, even though she lasted longer than the vastly overrated Amanda Beard. Plus, when placed side-to-side, it's pretty clear that Ashely Force is a less famous, better looking, slightly less successful version of Patrick, and since we're not supposed to be weighing success and relevance -- this isn't Who's Now?, or even Who's Erstwhile? -- Force rightfully won this one. Sorry, No Photos
The Stalwarts: Jennie Finch and Maria Sharapova are about stalwarty as you can get, as both have been crowned the queen of hot female athletes in the past with varying degrees of quasi-cultural importance. Sharapova remains more famous thanks the popularity of tennis, but Finch is decidedly better looking. In the end, this was by far the most even vote in the competition; the final raw percentage was 50%-50%, and Finch won by 913 votes. Like I said above, in terms of hotness, the voters made the right choice here.

The Final Round: This is it, the matchup for all the marbles. And as good looking as Ashley Force is, it's hard for me to see her toppling Finch in the final. Not only is Finch her relative equal in looks, but Finch remains more famous, more relevant, more Now-ish, more zeitgeisty ... Ashley Force just isn't there yet. Yes, it's a hotness competition, but like any vote, it's also a popularity contest. Final prediction: Finch wins in a close final, and takes home the world's most vaguely degrading competition. And I put myself through a little masochistic reading assignment to atone for my sins.

Tags: Danica+Patrick, DanicaPatrick, Jennie+Finch, JennieFinch, Maria+Sharapova, MariaSharapova

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 7)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Most Recent | Next 20 Comments
ADVERTISEMENT
Play Fantasy Football

Breaking News

Monta Ellis' Punishment: No Pay for 30 Games He's Expected to Miss, or $3 Million
Michigan's Painful Transition Continues
Tony Could Be Gonzo to New York if the Rumors Are True

Featured Stories

College Football Live Chat: All Day, Baby!
Live Blog: USA vs. Cuba World Cup Qualifier
Good Offense or Bad Defense?
ADVERTISEMENT

Recent Comments