FanHouse

Well, you can go ahead and color me confused. In what appears to be a reversal from established precedent over the past few years, Notre Dame has handed down a puzzlingly light sentence for their lovelorn defensive tackle Darrell Hand who found himself in hot water after soliciting a prostitute at a South Bend McDonalds (which, you know, is a puzzling wrinkle of the whole case in and of itself... but I digress). Hand will remain in school in good (or good enough) standing, and will sit for a three game suspension.

As an alumnus and the resident Notre Dame apologist for the Fanhouse, I'm trying to find some interpretation of this case that makes it somehow different from the other two high-profile suspensions that have been dealt out to Irish athletes over the past two years. You'll remember last Christmas, the starting point guard Kyle McAlarney was dismissed from school for a year after getting busted with some weed in his car and, just like Hand, entering a pre-trial diversion program. Similarly, fullback Rashon Powers-Neal was barred from athletics for a year after being nabbed for another misdemeanor, fourth-degree DUI. The question that arises is what is the fundamental difference between Hand's floozy-cruising misdemeanor and McAlarney and Powers-Neal's misdemeanors that lets him not only stay in school but also possibly play football for the last three-quarters of the season.

We're left with some confusing options as to what has happened: 1.) It could be that the University decided its punishments for K-Mac and RPN were unjustly Draconian and has updated its policy. Of course, if that's the case, this is a terrible time to make a dramatic unannounced change in policy. 2.) The tangled bureaucracy that is the Student Life department at Notre Dame decided that since there are no specific provisions about soliciting a prostitute in du Lac (the sacred book of Notre Dame disciplinary policy), whereas there is plenty of established precedent on drug and alcohol related offenses, they were obliged to let Hand off. 3.) There is some more information about the case that hasn't been released yet that exonerates Hand, or 4.) the "selling your soul for football glory" thing. My gut's telling me it's #3, since it makes the most sense. Then again, sensibility has never really been a hallmark of the Notre Dame disciplinary process.

At any rate, somebody has some explaining to do.

I'll keep you updated.