1) The above video, via The Basketball Jones, is Andrea Bargnani and Marco Belinelli's Italian Nike commercial, in which -- according to a Youtube commenter -- Bargnani is telling Bellinelli that it's only a matter of time before he's appointed to the very important tasks of making breakfast, folding clothes, and guarding Kobe Bryant. Hey, those are all important responsibilites.
While demonstrating Bargnani and Bellinelli's unquestionable skill, the video also showcases just how difficult it is to trash-talk in Italian. Not the least bit intimidating, unless Kobe's the one doing the translating.
2) Having a graduation? Bar mitzvah? Cocktail party? Orgy? Need to spice things up with a keynote speaker, someone to bring a lot of class and even more wisdom to your gathering? Then Awful Announcing has the list for you! It's how much you're going to be shelling out for the oh-so-insightful ramblings of Bill Parcells, Darrell Waltrip, and Leslie Neilsen (+$50,000!!). (Surely, I can't be serious. I am serious, and ... oh, you know the rest.)
3) Everyone has power rankings, many of which are just plain opinion, and some of which are calculated using complicated mathematical theories. But have any power rankings ever adjusted for likelihood of Roger Goodell-inflicted suspension? Now they have.
4) After the whole LaDainian Tomlinson Nike commercial fiasco, you'd think the Bears would sufficiently embarassed so as not to seek to enrage the steroid-infused monsters on San Diego's defensive front line, but Brian Urlacher shares no such humility. He hates Shawne Merriman's sack dance, and isn't afraid to let you know.
5) Finally, only one guy could take Top Gun and work it into an NFL preview, and he's writing for us. Be sure to check out MJD's NFL preview this morning, lest you be uninformed. We don't want that, do we?
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