The Debriefing is a column that runs every weekday at 9:00 a.m. here on FanHouse. It goes deep into one issue and then bounces around to a plethora of smaller ones ... and does it all in a way that will make you feel like the prettiest girl at the cotillion. Bookmark this page, and visit daily.
As much as I'd like to not continue blabbering week-in, week-out, about how the Patriots are kicking the hell out of everybody ... there's really no way around it. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it.
I do my best to keep the Patriots out of my mouth, though, and they don't earn any official sinner labels. Instead, we label Jon Kitna and the Lions sinners for Wrath (please don't take that the wrong way and ask God to smite me Jon Kitna), Steven Jackson the sinner for Envy, the Chargers for Pride, and the Jets for their record amount of Sloth.
We'll also dip into the grand experiment in London, Antonio Gates' ability to heal a community, the emergence of Braylon Edwards, and a Week 8 photo gallery consisting of 100% cheerleaders, many of whom are dressed up for Halloween, or what I like to call "Shameless Prostitute and Candy Day."
For the player or team who unleashed their hellish fury on Sunday ...
The Sinner: The Detroit Lions
Brief disclaimer #1: The author readily acknowledges that Jesus and Jon Kitna both abhore sin, and the following is not a claim that Kitna has actually sinned. I have a column structure to follow, and it's merely a metaphor. Kitna's inherent goodness is hereby acknowledged. Go Jesus.Brief disclaimer #2: This should be the New England Patriots, for the unholy mudstomping they put on the Washington Redskins (who can lose 52-7 to the Patriots and still be considered one of the best teams in the NFC). But I can't keep writing about how the Patriots are unstoppable. You want to know how good they are? 52-7. I can't make the point any better than the box score.
Now, back to the Lions ... particularly, that stingy Lions defense, which continues to live up to their bruising, punishing, don't-f-with-us reputation that's existed for about ... oh, 15 hours now.
I'll gladly acknowledge that being 5-2 in the NFC and beating the Bears by 9 points does not make you a powerhouse. But there are things to consider here that make the Lions worthy of earning the "Wrath" label here:
1) They won with defense. Again, granted, it's the Bears ... but in his last three games, Griese's had quarterback ratings of 97.8, 89.2, and 97.8, and they've come against some decent defenses (Green Bay, Minnesota, and Philadelphia, respectively). But Detroit held him to a rating of 38.3 and picked him off 4 times.
2) They stifled Cedric Benson, too. Of course, a girl scout troop and a blocking sled could hold Benson to under 70 yards, but ... this Detroit defense held him to 50.
3) The Lions have a running game. Kevin Jones carried the ball 23 times for 105 yards.4) They're ahead of the pace to fulfill Jon Kitna's prophecy (with anyone else, it's a prediction) that the Lions will win 10 games. Through seven, they've won five, and they've got nine more to get the remaining five.
That's the good news. The bad news is that the schedule gets tougher. Their existing 5 wins are against Oakland, Minnesota, Tampa Bay, and Chicago twice ... still to go, they have Green Bay twice, the Giants, Dallas, San Diego, and Kansas City, who appears to suck less now than they did a few weeks ago.
Easier games (though nothing's a "gimme") come against Arizona and Minnesota.
For those who were left in a position to be jealous on Sunday ...
The Sinner: Steven JacksonBrief disclaimer: This, too, should be the New England Patriots, who should be envious of every team that has the ability to win gracefully. They ran up the score against the Redskins, and they did so intentionally.
I don't care if it was the backups playing ... if you want to go for a 4th-and-2 up by 45 points ... you can do it, so long as you plow it into the middle of the line, and not run freaking play-action. I don't know why they'd throw at all.
But I can't excoriate the Patriots every week for doing something that they've already proven they're going to do at every opportunity. They're going to run up the score, and they don't care if it hurts the Redskins feelings. Frankly, neither do I ... the Redskins are professionals, and they can deal with it. Still, kicking an opponent once you've proven that you're better proves nothing and makes you seem small and petty.
Now, back to Steven Jackson ... who can be envious of everyone out there with a healthy groin.
It had been killing the poor guy to sit on the bench with his mangled groin. He was so excited to get back in the line-up, and when he did, things went gloriously ... his first 7 carries went for 40 yards and a touchdown, and the Rams played with an intensity and joy that hadn't been there since Brenda Warner was baking cupcakes for everyone on the roster.
Jackson breathed glorious life back into the entire Rams offense. Marc Bulger had his groove back, and started the day 7-of-8 and had a TD pass to Torry Holt. The Rams, the sad, ugly, disgusting Rams, actually led 14-0.
But then Jackson had some back spasms (created, according to Jackson, by overcompensating for the groin), and had to leave the game ... in came Brian Leonard, and the Rams were the Rams once again. From that point on, the Browns outscored them 27-6.
I'm not going to say that it had everything to do with the loss of Jackson ... but he picked up 41 yards and 8 carries, and Leonard picked up 33 yards on 15 carries. On top of the intangible change, the emotion spark that gets extinguished ... the difference between Jackson and Leonard is, on its own, enough to cripple a team.
For the team or player who played with, gained, or displayed some dignity on Sunday ...
The Sinner: Philip Rivers and the San Diego ChargersThe Chargers can be proud of the way they played under an extreme amount of adversity, but the Texans should also be applauded for coming into San Diego and playing in a way that could be described as ... charitable.
It was like Gary Kubiak met Norv Turner at midfield before the game, shook his hand and said, "Listen, we know you guys have had a rough week. We're going to lay down in the first half, and you guys can just take the 2nd half off. Our heart goes out to you guys. And here's a little hint ... Antonio Gates is going to be open in the first half. *wink*. Good luck, coach!"
And that's pretty much how things went. The Chargers defense had their best game of the year at the expense of a Texans offense who appeared to be suffering from massive smoke inhalation.
Matt Schaub was terrible until he was knocked from the game by Stephen Cooper (who rightfully picked up 2 personal foul calls on the play), and Sage Rosenfels was terrible when he replaced him. San Diego cornerback Antonio Cromartie caught more Texans passes than all but three Texans.It's nothing against Adimchinobe Echemandu, who looked very good at certain points during the game, however ... the list of NFL teams who have won games while their best offensive player was a guy with a 9-syllable name is probably quite short.
And Philip Rivers gets special notice because he gave the use of his luxury suite to the families of 4 firefighters who were injured while fighting the flames this week. And while I do believe that the effects of sports on national tragedies is grossly overrated (we'll come back to that later), gestures like that are as sweet and kind as it gets. Yay, Phil.
For those who were unable to overcome their own slovenly inertia ...
The Sinner: The New York Jets
This one could really be shared by everyone who was in the stadium yesterday for the Bills vs. Jets game. The Bills are not good, the Jets are not good, and honestly, the 76,688 who paid money to watch this thing ... I understand that there's something to be said for being a diehard, but at a certain point, if you willingly sit through these, I've just got to wonder if you have self-esteem problems.
This barely qualified as football. If we had sent this game to London, English Prime Minister Gordon Brown would have seen it as an act of war, and would have launched air strikes against us immediately.The lone highlight in the game came on a J.P. Losman prayer that he heaved to Lee Evans. And sure, credit Evans for going and getting the ball, but the pass was woefully short, and had about a 50/50 shot of being caught by either team.
In fact, Jets corner Darrelle Revis had his hands on it the same time Lee Evans did ... until safety Abram Elam came over and mistook Revis for Evans, hitting Revis and knocking him off the ball.
But I blame that on the Jets coaching staff. The defensive backs coach has an obligation to tell his team, before the game, to hit only players who are wearing shirts and pants of a different color than your own.
As for the ongoing saga at the Jets quarterback position ... Chad Pennington was 13-of-20 (65%) for 106 yards (5.3 yards per attempt), 0 touchdowns, and 0 interceptions before being pulled in favor of Kellen Clemens.
Clemens, savior that he is, took over and went 5-of-12 (41.7%) for 67 yards (5.6 yards per attempt), 0 touchdowns, and 2 interceptions.
Clearly, the Jets problems are all at the quarterback position.
For those who gorged themselves on big, beautiful numbers yesterday ...
The Sinner: Braylon Edwards: 8 catches, 117 yards, 2 TDs. Some of the catches Edwards made yesterday were worthy of the same highlight-reel treatment given to Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, Chad Johnson, or Steve Smith ... Edwards is becoming a nasty, nasty man. And, in what could maybe be considered a rarity for a standout NFL wide receiver ... he doesn't appear to be a douchebag. How novel.From the TD pass he caught in the second quarter (see it here), to the leaping catch on the sidelines (see it here), to the the intentionally-thrown-behind-him, but-not-that-far-behind-him falling down catch he made (no video available) ... I know it's just the Rams, but no one was going to keep Edwards from making those plays yesterday. He was a beast.
Drew Brees: 31-of-39, 336 yards, 4 TDs, 0 INTs, 136.8 rating
Tom Brady: 29-of-38, 306 yards, 3 TDs, 0 INTs, 125.5 rating
Donovan McNabb: 23-of-36, 333 yards, 1 TD, 0 INTs, 103.1 rating
Derek Anderson: 18-of-25, 248 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INTs, 143.0 rating
Joseph Addai: 23 carries, 100 yards, 4.3 ypc, 2 TDs
Willie Parker: 22 carries, 126 yards, 5.7 ypc, 1 TD
LenDale White: 25 carries, 133 yards, 5.3 ypc
Brandon Jacobs: 23 carries, 131 yards, 5.7 ypc
Kevin Jones: 23 carries, 105 yards, 4.6 ypc, 1 TD
Reggie Wayne: 7 catches, 168 yards, 1 TD
Joey Galloway: 6 catches, 115 yards 1 TD
Lee Evans: 5 catches, 138 yards, 1 TD
Torry Holt: 6 catches, 110 yards, 1 TD
For those who just couldn't stop burying themselves in hopelessness ...
The Sinner: Eli Manning: 8-of-22, 59 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, 44.9 rating. It wasn't pretty (nor was the weather, the field, or the play of anyone else on the field), but it was enough to beat Cleo Lemon and the Miami Dolphins. That's about all you could say for it, and yet, the British fans were enthusiastic throughout. Why, I couldn't tell you ... but it was probably good for the Dolphins' self-esteem.
Brian Griese: 22-of-40, 208 yards, 1 TD, 4 INTs, 38.3 rating
Jeff Garcia: 19-of-41, 267 yards, 1 TD, 3 INTs, 45.5 rating
Daunte Culpepper: 15-of-32, 167 yards, 0 TDs, 1 INT, 49.9 rating
Vince Young: 6-of-14, 42 yards, 0 TDs, 50.3 rating
LaMont Jordan: 12 carries, 16 yards
Brian Leonard: 15 carries, 33 yards
Clinton Portis: 11 carries, 27 yards
Ron Dayne: 17 carries, 47 yards
Fred Taylor: 24 carries, 68 yards
Andre Davis: 1 catch, 6 yards
Laveraneus Coles: 1 catch, 13 yards
Steve Smith: 2 catches, 18 yards.
Mushin Muhammad: 2 catches, 23 yards
Randy McMichael (who guaranteed victory): 2 catches, 39 yards
The best in photos from Sunday's NFL action, hopefully focusing on cheerleaders more than anything else ...
 Cris Collinsworth on the Patriots, back in Week 6:"To be perfectly honest, I think this is the best team I've ever seen."That notion becomes less and less ridiculous by the week. I had honestly talked myself into thinking the Redskins had a chance to hang with the Pats this week ... maybe not win, but at least hang. The Redskins had the secondary to potentially slow down the Patriots passing attack ... and the Pats just said, "Fine, enjoy your cute little secondary ... we'll just run the ball, because, I'm sorry to inform you, we can do that, too. I'm afraid the Death Star is fully operational." All told, there were 35 carries for 152 yards ... the most ground yards the Redskins have given up all year, by a significant margin. They've allowed over 100 yards (that's to a team, not to just one back) in a game just once this year, when they gave up 115 to the Eagles. And the Pats, in an effort to open up the passing game for when the game was 45-0, just gashed them for 152 on the ground. I know that next week is the game of the year, I know the Colts are the defending champions, and I know the game's in Indy, but I'm just going to say it ... I don't think the Colts have a chance. |
Antonio Gates on the healing power of the Chargers 35-10 stomping of the Texans:"It was kind of like a win for the San Diego Chargers, but at the same time it was a win for San Diego itself. Football was secondary compared to the things that were going on in San Diego. We were just glad we could come up with a win to uplift this city." |
 Quote from a crying man standing over the scorched ashes that used to be the house he worked his entire life to buy, that may or may not have actually happened, but probably didn't, in response to the above quote:"Um ... thanks."I hear what you're saying Antonio, and I know you were trying to do something for the city, and it's not a dumb quote to make ... I get it. We're still friends. That said ... beating a terrible Texans team does not, as they say, put Humpty Dumpty back together again. It doesn't rebuild any houses. It doesn't put out any flames. It doesn't get anything back for people who have lost everything. Obviously, this is a tragedy of a smaller magnitude than what happened in New Orleans, but a similar phenomenon happened there in the aftermath ... I feel like when athletes say that a win helped the community, it does more harm than good, because it gives the outside world a little bit of a feeling that things are OK there, when they're not. If you care about the community, and obviously, I'm not saying that Antonio Gates doesn't ... don't say you uplifted anyone. If you get the chance to put your head in front of a microphone, say that yes, you're happy you won, and then let people know how bad things really are, and how much help is still needed. |
Bills WR Lee Evans on the touchdown pass from J.P. Losman:"It seemed like it hung in the air forever."That's because it did. |
NFL Network's Rich Eisen on the Bills/Jets game:"You know how we tell you when games are on NFL Replay and we promote it? This game will not be replayed on NFL Network."No? Well, maybe we can find a spot for it on the Self-Loathing Network. There are a lot of self-mutilators out there who would love to enjoy that classic again. |
Giants coach Tom Coughlin on the London NFL experience after his team narrowly beat the hapless Miami Dolphins:"I'll be glad to give my opinion to the commissioner with the issues that came up."See that "Parental Advisory: Potty Mouth" graphic above, Tom? You might want to print that out and take it with you to that meeting with the commissioner. |
 Bengals receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh after head coach Marvin Lewis opted for a field goal with a 4th and 1 on the Steelers 2-yard-line:"That's why they're 5-2 and we're 2-5. Good teams put it in the end zone. Teams like us kick field goals.Actually, I thought it was more like telling a kid, "No, you can't have any candy right now. You can't have any candy ever. In fact, you're not going to college, you'll live a life full of menial labor for very little money, and I'm not your real father. I just wagered your trust fund on the #6 horse in the 4th race at Pimlico, and it didn't go well. Seeya, kid." |
Rams tight end Randy McMichael on the impact of Steven Jackson's return, and then departure:"He was running like a wild beast and we matched his intensity, it just rubbed off on the whole team. And then he's out and we took a step back. We can't do that."Well, you can ... so long as you don't mind getting outscored 27-6 for the rest of the game. It really was sad to watch. Jackson came back, the spark was there, the Rams looked like a real football team again ... and then the rug's pulled out from under them. Jackson left the game, and everything died. They no longer looked like a football team, the Rams looked like a rudderless ship with a hole in the bottom and Fred Smoot's dirty sex toys strewn all about. |
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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)
1. The Patriots must be fans of the Mighty Ducks movies:
"it's not worth winning if you can't win big!"
Posted at 10:55AM on Oct 29th 2007 by David
2. Yo, mjd, you're so greedy that you took away Derek Anderson's correct stats
Anderson had 3 TD passes--2 to Braylon, 1 to Kellen
Get it right so everyone knows how amazing the Brownies are!
Posted at 11:55AM on Oct 29th 2007 by clevelandrocks
3. I was disgusted at your comments made about the San Diego Chargers and my city. You can down play the win, but when you talk about the players, that another story. You should have also mentioned that Qualcomm Stadium was an evacuation center until Friday. Players were down their volunteering until they left to Arizona. Myself as a fan, but also someone from san diego county, I am proud of the CHARGERS, not just for the victory, but how they have been for the victims of these horrible fires. We are a strong community who has come together during this difficult time. We need the tourist to come to our great city and see we will come thru these ashes and be greater than ever.
Posted at 1:09PM on Oct 29th 2007 by missy
4. Might just be me, but I think you misread that, Missy.
Posted at 1:24PM on Oct 29th 2007 by DookieStyle
5. mjd is greedy cause he took away derek andersons stats
DEREK ANDERSON had 3 TOUCHDOWNS, not 2!!!!!
Posted at 2:41PM on Oct 29th 2007 by clevelandrocks
6. You have forgtotten the 8th Deadly sin...Arrogance.
The Yankees were guilty of this with Torre, and the Jet Front Office is guilty of this since the summer. The problem with the Jets is not the QB, it is the "O" Line. The way Jets management treated Pete Kendall was nothing short of arrogance, and they miss him desperately. What goes around sometimes does come around.
Posted at 2:44PM on Oct 29th 2007 by GF
7. mjd:
I'm stealing your Pats Death Star quote - seems to fit their present situation perfectly.
It's funny, too.
The Doc
Posted at 4:41PM on Oct 29th 2007 by soxdoc
8. The Torre comment was dumb it should be obvious why. Secondly Arrogance falls under Pride. Eli Manning was playing in the worst Football passing conditions since the "Mud Bowl" and cannot be blamed for his stats (part of the poor conditions was the turf being played on: the grass was like a putting green).
Posted at 6:27PM on Oct 29th 2007 by tobrien28
9. I'm not saying that this changed the game in any way, but the Redskins had problems with their communication from the booth the whole first half. I hate the Patriots already, but why do they have to screw with the other team's communications when they're clearly a better football team? This is the third or fourth time a team has gone to Foxboro and had problems with that stuff. I'd like to kick Bill in the nuts.
Posted at 3:13AM on Oct 30th 2007 by .
10. You overlook the fact that the Chargers defence played an incredible game! No....Miami couldn't have done the same. The Chargers have one problem and one problem only....Phillip Rivers! Rivers is horrific this year and couldn't make a play if a gun was held to his head! The rest of the team is playing at a much higher level and had Rivers been worth his weight in spit....Indi would have had their asses handed to them! Sure, Peterson ran all over them in the 4th because the Chargers D was exausted from being on the field ALL day. It's not Chambers, Jackson or Gates (who were wide open all day) it's the fact that Rivers can't put the ball in their hands! Picture this team with a John Kitna or Drew Breeze back in the line up and it's all over!
Posted at 4:09PM on Nov 14th 2007 by Erik