You took the Tigers' offer. And why not? Little Ceasars for life was too good to turn down. You report to spring training and immediately click with all of your teammates. You get a locker next to Jim Leyland's office, though, and all of the second-hand smoke takes a couple of years off your life, but who cares? You're filthy rich, and by the time you need it you'll probably be able to clone an extra lung, or at least purchase one on the black market.
Plus, the fans are great. Even when you go 1-for-4 with three strikeouts, no one complains -- after all, they can still see Brandon Inge sitting in the dugout. Plus, by the third week of the season all of the reporters have given up hope that you'll ever say something controversial. All of that media training Scott Boras made you take to make you as boring as possible paid off! Instead of bugging you, all the reporters now camp out by Gary Sheffield's locker waiting for his next ridiculous sound bite.
The Tigers cruise to a division title and coast through the playoffs. All of that fielding practice Leyland forced the pitchers to take paid off, as they manage to get past the Rockies in the World Series without a single error. In 2009, though, you realize just how old this team is. After winning the World Series, Pudge Rodriguez leaves as a free agent, and by now Edgar Renteria, Placido Polanco, Carlos Guillen and Magglio Ordonez are all at least 33 years old, and Sheffield is 40. If this team can't win another title soon, it'll likely be broken up and sold for parts.
A few years later, that's exactly what happens. Mike Ilitch steps down from his role, passing the torch to his kids, who are more interested in preserving the family fortune than they are maintaining one of the highest salaries in baseball. Everyone else is traded off, but your contract makes you immovable -- not that the team would consider trading you anyways, considering your chase for Barry Bonds' record is the main attraction at the gate. Despite a losing record and a rag-tag collection of teammates, you finish your career in pursuit not of wins but rather individual statistics, following in the footsteps of the man whose record you're chasing.
The End.
__
Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
10-31-2007 @ 7:23AM
Holly said...
I DO NOT WANT HIM ON THE TIGERS!!! I loooooove the tigers, and I really don't want him... for some reason... I mean, Inge isn't amazing - but neither is A-rod. He has a good bat but his fielding isn't that great. We have Maggs, Grandy, Polly, as awesome hitters AND fielders. Then we just signed Reneteria... whoever he is I hope he's good cause we got rid of Jurrjens for him :(
anyway... my opinion.. I don't want him on the tigers.
Reply
10-31-2007 @ 10:38AM
Christian said...
Anywhere but Boston. Anaheim wouldn't be a bad place, fit, but they appear loaded. On paper anyway, as do Yankees, or as did the Yankees. Except both teams could use more pitching. I say go to Detroit, where he will be the missing piece that can take this team to the next level.
Reply
10-31-2007 @ 12:36PM
Christian said...
Anywhere but Boston. Though Anaheim does seem like a good fit, but Angels appear "loaded" already. Similar to Yankees, on paper they appear loaded, but can use a bit of pitching, so, I say go to Detroit where he can be that missing piece that can take them to the next level.
Reply
10-31-2007 @ 3:50PM
Big John said...
Clearly, Holly isn't a true Tigers fan. You're insane to pass on A-Rod.
Inge makes flying leaps that no one else would attempt at 3B, this is true. His bat is awful. A-Rod's bat is godlike. Magglio and Granderson are two out of nine players. Polly (whom I assume means Rick Porcello) isn't major-ready and won't be all year long. Saying "whoever he is" to a signing of just a few days ago, what are you thinking? He replaces Guillen at SS who shifts to 1B. That's a big signing but it's not going to shore up the bats perfectly. Losing Jurrjens in that deal wasn't so bad. He had a nagging shoulder issue that could possibly last his career. The big loss was the minor-league fielder we gave up in Hernendez to the Braves for that deal. He was a rising star and could fit in nicely in the team's timeline. Think long AND short term.
Anyway, back to A-Rod. I do think that the Renteria deal makes the Tigers signing A-Rod a little more unlikely that it was before. By and far, the Tigers are happy with Inge's fielding at 3B and his bat could use some work. Mike might make an offer to Boras/A-Rod but I wouldn't expect it to be strong or for it to stick.
Reply
10-31-2007 @ 5:55PM
Joel said...
Big John... Polly is Placido Polanco.
Reply