I think we've all known for a couple of years that the Marlins were going to get rid of Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis, but I wouldn't have guessed that they'd both leave in the same trade. Granted, the D-Train has not looked as sharp over the last couple of years, but he's stayed healthy and he still shows flashes of his earlier brilliance, which suggests to me that he could be built back up to "ace" status with proper coaching. And as Mr. Lackey pointed out, Cabrera fits into the statistical mold of some of the all-time greats. If I were the Marlins' GM, I'd only part with these two for rookies and minor leaguers if one of them were named Babe "Roy Hobbs" Aaron, Esq.Anyway, today a long-running Dugout gag was realized. That doesn't happen very often. Today's installment is after the jump.
The Dugout
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fLORIdA: No easy way to say this, so...you guys are being traded to Detroit. |
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MeTrain: snaps |
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CabreraNoIII: you trade the miguel cabrera and you trade ya schmiguel schmabrera |
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MeTrain: aw snap /monster bash so who's goin to florida |
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fLORIdA: you are being traded for cameron what and andrew nobody |
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CabreraNoIII: You mean Cameron Maybin and Andrew Miller? |
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fLORIdA: yeah probably. all that matters is that they're under 21 |
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CabreraNoIII: Why? |
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fLORIdA: well remember how i banned alcohol from the clubhouse |
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MeTrain: ah cause a what happened to m'man josh han**** right |
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MeTrain: what the josh han**** |
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MeTrain: josh han c o c k aight we good r.i.p. brah |
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fLORIdA: well yes, that was the ostensible reason but i've wanted to enact that rule for years because i am a giant fleshy enemy of fun and fellowship |
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fLORIdA: my approach toward keeping alcohol out of the clubhouse is two-pronged. first, i want to trade away everyone who is 21 or older |
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fLORIdA: second, i want to trade away proven talent for question marks to ensure that nobody ever pops a champagne cork in the marlins' clubhouse |
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fLORIdA: two birds, one stone, all that |
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CabreraNoIII: Well, wait. It looks like Andrew Miller is over 21. |
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fLORIdA: OH WHOOPS |
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**OnlineHost** Jeffrey Loria has traded Andrew Miller to the Royals for six frozen embryos |
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fLORIdA: whew okay it's about time for you to take the train up to detroit, take it sleazy gents |
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CabreraNoIII: All right, later. /hops onto Dontrelle Willis' back, mimes whistle-cord pull WOO WOOO |
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MeTrain: chuggachuggachuggawhat |
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**OnlineHost** CabreraNoIII and MeTrain have left the chatroom. |
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**OnlineHost** Welcome to October 2009 Chat! |
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fLORIdA: congratulations fellas! we finished 9th in the nl east! |
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Sample569811-39: WOOOOO |
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Sample443862-06: BUST OUT THE SODA POP |
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fLORIdA: actually don't bother opening it. president romney has passed legislation that requires me to have you destroyed |
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Sample569811-39: aw drag |
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fLORIdA: luckily i have found a solution! |
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**OnlineHost** Jeffrey Loria has traded a team full of stem cells to the Pirates for a dirty thought in a young man's head. |
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fLORIdA: youth movement you guys |
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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)
1. Wow. This is pure comedy gold... and not just because I'm baked. Or maybe it is. But seriously, a "dirty thought in a young man's head"? That had me rolling.
Posted at 1:29AM on Dec 5th 2007 by Mike
2. Of course, wait until the scandal breaks that the dirty thought in the young man's head involved buying and possibly using steroids. All h e l l will break loose. ;)
Posted at 1:50AM on Dec 5th 2007 by Jade
3. haha it's funnier because it's almost true.
Posted at 5:36AM on Dec 5th 2007 by L
4. Willis has remained healthy despite everyone saying his deliver will cause problems. Pretty impressive.
Still the whole thing seems silly. Can't wait for the Dugout in three years when they trade All Star CF Maybin for prospects.
Good work.
Posted at 9:47AM on Dec 5th 2007 by Ragingape
5. WAY TO GO METS DO NOTHINGS .. GO GET LIVON HERNANDEZ AND DOTEL 2 MORE ADDITIONS OF HAS BEENS OR NEVER WERE, MANIAC MANAYA. YOY COULD GET SANTANA FOR REYES I WOULD DO IT IN A SECOND. REYESMIS A COMPLAINING BUM .. WAY TO GO MANAYA. ANOTHER USELESS EFFORT./
Posted at 10:32AM on Dec 5th 2007 by LEW
6. GREAT TRADE FOR DETROIT. MARLINS WOULDENT TRADE TO NATIONAL LEAGUE EAST DIVISION. SO THE LOWLY METS WILL PURSUE ALL THE CRAP OUT THERE, MANIAC MANAYA. WORKS FOR THE BRAVES AND PHILLIES. PLEASE GET RID OF HIM BEFORE HE TRADES WRIGHT AND REYES AND BELTRAN FOR A PITCHER WITH A 9.99 ERA. THE NAN IS A LUNATIC. THANKS FOR GETTING RID OF MILEDGE. 22 YEARS OLD WITH A POSSIBLE GREAT FUTURE. FOR A CATCHER WHO CANT HIT HIS WEIGHT. MORON CHURCH THE ANTI SEMITE, IN RIGHT FIELD. 270 AVERAGE. WOW WHAT A LOUSY MOVE.
Posted at 11:18AM on Dec 5th 2007 by LEW
7. Relax, Lew. Church will do fine in NY just as long as he avoids Jewish people. That can't be too hard, can it?
It's not like there are many Jews on Los Mets anyway. Chin up.
Posted at 11:39AM on Dec 5th 2007 by Sean O
8. han****. genius.
i can't wait until loria trades those embryos to me for four great dirty thoughts that i don't have.
Posted at 1:09PM on Dec 5th 2007 by SilvaSurfer
9. settle down Lew and quit being a psycho
Posted at 1:09PM on Dec 5th 2007 by blake
10. Loria's brain will probably hit ninth for the Tigers, for the record.
Posted at 4:59PM on Dec 5th 2007 by Z.S. Ghost
11. Hmm, the Marlins have traded away a nice chunk of their talent pool again for no reason. Is it too early to call the Marlins for World Series champions in 2010?
Posted at 6:08PM on Dec 5th 2007 by Tired
12. Relax, Lew. Church will do fine in NY just as long as he avoids Jewish people. That can't be too hard, can it?
It's not like there are many Jews on Los Mets anyway. Chin up.
They're all being ran off the Mets. You'd think there's some sort of Holocaust or something. Watch out Scotty!
Posted at 6:46AM on Dec 6th 2007 by Adam