During the season, MLB.com is the official site of Major League Baseball, filled to the brim and overflowing with baseball news, rumors, and reports. But in the middle of the dead winter offseason, THAT is when MLB.com gets AWESOME.There's only so much to write about after the trades have been made and before the pitchers report. If Dontrelle Willis goes to Japan and plays tamborine with some Japanese school children, you cover it. If Dmitri Young improperly combs his son's hair, you write an editorial explaining how it's indicative of a greater aspect of Young's person. And sometimes... only sometimes... you get to compare one thing to another. That's where MLB.com is a Viking.
After the jump, The Dugout deals with the clear, obvious reality that Chuck Finley was at one point way better than Nolan Ryan. When you're done reading, get out a sheet of paper and write 500 words about how Travis Fryman deserves a unanimous vote for the Hall of Fame because he played in the era of steroids and integration, and how that's got to be way harder.
The Dugout
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ChuckFinn: For 14 years I took the ball for the California Angels and through good or bad, win or lose, and I made good things happen. In fact, one might say I was as dependable as Disneyland, right down the road! |
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ChuckFinn: Yes, good old Chuck Finley, Mainstreet U.S.A. for the ball club, giving customers their money's worth come rain, shine, and Yippies on this great California adventure. |
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NolanOnTheRiver: /spits into spittoon |
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ChuckFinn: I mean, just look at the stats. With my fastball and my fast ball I pitched 2,675 innings in an Angels uniform and won 165 games. Right behind me, with 2,181 1/3 innings and 138 wins, Nolan Ryan! |
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NolanOnTheRiver: Yep. /whittles |
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ChuckFinn: This Finley-tuned machine is also just behind you in your meat and potatoes, strikeouts. 2,151 to 2,416! I'm only 250 behind the super strikeout king of all-time. Pretty funny, huh? |
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ChuckFinn: In my prime, Bill Bavasi compared me to Koufax and Drysdale. "They knew how to get the job done and were tough about it -- and they were quiet about it," he said. "For me, he's a great representative for our ballclub. He seems to be a throwback." |
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ChuckFinn: Nolan, were you ever compared to Koufax or Drysdale? |
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NolanOnTheRiver: Stabbed Koufax once. Took a bite out of Drysdale's shoulder. /points whittling knife In those days, twern't a good idea to grow your hair like that. |
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ChuckFinn: This gorgeous head of hair helped me bed Video Vixen and one of America's Funniest People, Tawny Kataen. What kind of women did you land with that Hank Hill haircut? |
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NolanOnTheRiver: Wife is a fine woman. /spits into spittoon |
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ChuckFinn: Bill James once said of me, "Finley is not only the best left-handed pitcher in the American League, but the only candidate for that distinction." This year I'm on the Hall of Fame ballot. Pretty cool, huh? |
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ChuckFinn: When I get in I'll wear my Angels hat. Certainly not Cleveland. Definitely not St. Louis. How'd you decide which hat to wear in the Hall? |
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NolanOnTheRiver: Hat's a hat. |
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ChuckFinn: They used to have a saying in California! Fin-to-win! Fin's the man! |
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ChuckFinn: I was 16-9 in 1989, 18-9 in 90 and 91... oh man, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this, you could jump over to MLB.com and read about my exploits in extended fashion. Then you can read about how baseball is just like football! |
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NolanOnTheRiver: site's a site. they got a penny arcade on that site? |
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ChuckFinn: uh, no? |
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NolanOnTheRiver: /squints eyes good. |
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ChuckFinn: So tell me, Nolan, since we're together in such fine company atop Anaheim of Californian Angelic Lore, what's your favorite Chuck Finley memory? |
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NolanOnTheRiver: See, there's the rub. /puts away partially whittled deer You ever win it all, Finley? |
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ChuckFinn: Anaheim won it all in 2002! When I was, uh, elsewhere. |
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NolanOnTheRiver: Hm. You leave behind a legacy? |
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ChuckFinn: I don't know, when you look at the stats it seems like I had a pretty great- |
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NolanOnTheRiver: When people think of you, what do they think of? For me they think of Texas. A bloody nose. Robby Ventura's little ass in a headlock because he cracked wise with the American Dream. No-hitters. What you got? What's Chuck Finley to people? |
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ChuckFinn: One time my wife beat me up with a shoe. |
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NolanOnTheRiver: And when you had daughters like my Wendy, what'd you name them? |
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ChuckFinn: "Wynter" and "Raine." |
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NolanOnTheRiver: /gives it a long, hard stare /resumes deer whittlin' |
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ChuckFinn: you're going to break my neck aren't you |
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NolanOnTheRiver: /grins Yep, fiiiine company. |
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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)
1. I don't know why, but "/resumes deer whittlin'" might be the funniest thing I've read all day.
Posted at 4:43PM on Dec 30th 2007 by Amanda
2. Personally, I'm a-savin' my money in the hopes of someday gettin' to see Ryan whup the tar outta that Clemens feller who thinks he's such hot stuff. Nolan would kick his ass in a heartbeat.
Posted at 10:13PM on Dec 30th 2007 by Jade