FanHouse

Quick, true story: I had a friend in high school who played a prank on the yearbook photographers. He had his picture taken once, and then slipped back in line later in the day. When he got up to the check-in desk, he gave his first name as Jason (true) and spelled his complicated last name (not true). Some weeks later, the yearbook was published and "Jason Fallopian" was included in our class.

So I have a soft spot in my heart for goofy high-school pranks involving sexual innuendo. The folks at Lockview High School in Fall River, Nova Scotia? Not so much. Principal Ward Duncan told volunteer boys hockey head coach Kevin Brown that he will not return next season after Brown approved a team program that included politically incorrect humor in player bios. Among the offending passages, according to The Chronicle-Herald:

One player's bio says he enjoys "some meat between his buns." Another's says he likes hunting and fishing and warns women that he shares his bed with a huge weapon. A third player's write-up says he "could be coming into your mouth sooner than you think as he seeks a profession in dental hygenics (sic) in the near future." Another bio refers to a player's desire to visit pop singer Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. And another caption says a player wants to become a motivational speaker for the hearing impaired.

Duncan said he "will be making arrangements in the next few weeks for these students to participate in activities that are designed to deepen their understanding of what it means to be part of a respectful and inclusive school environment and the larger community as a whole." Here's a thought: Why not have some of the players intern in the school's athletic department? Perhaps it can use the extra manpower, so volunteer head coaches don't have final approval on advertiser-supported team programs sold at games and bearing the school's name.