FanHouse

As part of our season preview, FanHouse asked bloggers from around the internet to write a poem previewing their team's upcoming season in a series entitled MLB Poetry Previews. It's like high school English class, except about baseball!

Today we 'round out the NL Central with the defending champs and presumptive favorites, the 100-year suffering Chicago Cubs. Daft Funk is here from Thunder Matt's Saloon (yes, they're named after Matt Murton, deal with it) to put the Cubbies' hopes in poetry form. The first stanza of his work is below, the rest is after the jump.

The grass is cut and chalk lines are down
And everyone's ready to play
Media talk of a curse can mean only one thing:
Cubs baseball is on its way!

Can't tell apart the All-Stars
From the rookies riding pine?
Don't worry about it. Step right up
And meet your starting nine.

Big men that can steal like Derrek Lee
Don't fit the common mold.
And unlike your sister's cheap jewelry,
His glove at first is made of real gold.

If Roberts isn't manning second
And we need someone to start,
DeRosa should be good to go
If he takes care of his (Kevin) Hart.

Ryan Theriot at short has a goal:
To see his steal total raise higher.
Just don't say he's gonna set the city ablaze,
Chicago doesn't like talk about fire.

Aramis supplies all the power
The Cubs need at third base
Just ignore one simple fact:
A glacier could take him in a race.

Soriano could be an MVP
As long as those quads are healed.
So if you see him, don't touch his hamstrings
Or ask him to play center field.

And who's that new guy over in right?
Fukudome gives fans reason to believe.
If I keep having trouble pronouncing his name,
I think I'll just call him "Steve".

That leaves Pie in center field
Looking to impress Lou with his bat.
Felix might go to Baltimore?
Thank God we've got Thunder Matt!

Geovanny Soto's the catcher
Rookie of the Year could be his fate
As long as it's not Tyler Houston
Or Jason Kendall behind the plate.

On the mound there's Zambrano,
Considered to be the ace.
His hobbies include e-mailing family
And punching catchers in the face.

Carlos Marmol will hand off to Kerry Wood
Or Bob Howry to lock saves down.
Yes, the bullpen has been a much safer place
Since Will Ohman was run out of town.

Gone are the clubhouse cancers and cheaters
And we're left with a team others fear.
A World Series title is within our grasp.
Loveable? Yes.

Losers?

Not this year.