FanHouse

The other day, Lackey covered Kaz Matsui's "ongoing problem with hemorrhoids," which, on the scale of unnecessary disclosures, ranks somewhere up there with the details of a soon-to-be-former New York governor's paid-sex preferences. The hemorrhoids were bad enough. So let's take it a step further! Today the Houston Chronicle (via BBTF) informs that Matsui is expected to miss four or five days with a condition known as "anal fissure."

Yes, that's every bit as bad as it sounds:

An anal fissure is an unnatural crack or tear in the anus skin. As a fissure, these tiny tears may show as bright red rectal bleeding and cause severe periodic pain after defecation. [...] Most anal fissures are caused by stretching of the anal mucosa beyond its capability. Various causes of this fissure include:

* Straining to defecate, especially if the stool is hard and dry
* Severe and chronic constipation
* Severe and chronic diarrhea
* Crohn's disease and Ulcerative colitis
* Tight sphincter muscles
* Anal intercourse

On three: OW. Poor Kaz. This is almost worse than Felix Pie's twisted testicle. Almost.