WASHINGTON, D.C.: Presidential hopeful Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) stepped up his campaign message of transparency yesterday, calling for primary opponent Senator Hillary Clinton to follow his lead and release her March Madness bracket."She may say that she's been doing this for 35 years," Obama told a crowd in a Las Vegas sportsbook Friday, "but I didn't need 35 years in Washington to know not to pick against Roy Williams in March. We need to know that the next President has the necessary sound judgment to lead this country, and I believe that my Final Four of UNC, Kansas, Pitt, and UCLA demonstrates just that."
"What is Senator Clinton hiding? Did she even have a post-Sweet 16 strategy?" the candidate continued. "Does she understand the complexities of top-level basketball enough to know that Memphis' poor free throw shooting will cost them in a close game? These are questions America needs to have answered."
Some political analysts were less than impressed with Obama's predictions, however. Chris Mathews, host of MSNBC's Hardball, discussed the issue on-air last night. "Looking at the bracket itself, the guy's not exactly perfect," Mathews said. "I don't see a single big upset he got right, he tabbed Clemson for the Sweet 16 and they imploded, and let's not get started on UConn. I don't think [Obama's bracket] is a winner."
Hillary Clinton's campaign echoed Mathews' doubts. "Baylor over Purdue? For someone running a campaign on youth and optimism, his refusal to embrace a team comprised mainly of freshmen and sophomores is very telling," strategist Mark Penn said in a press release. "Also, we're disturbed, but not surprised, that he chose Tennessee to advance past the first round. Why does the senator hate American?"
Still, the Obama campaign has not given up on the bracket. "We've got 14 of our Sweet 16 still alive after the first round. That's about as good as it can get," chief strategist David Axelrod told reporters during a conference call Sunday morning. "We've known for months now that we'd be counting on North Carolina, and we're confident that they'll come through for us when it counts in early April."
In related news, Republican hopeful Ron Paul called for Congress to overturn inclusion of at-large teams, citing the lack of a precedent when the rule was enacted in 1975. He then renewed his objections to the play-in game, calling it "unconstitutional."
(DISCLAIMER: This is, of course, satire. It is not to be taken seriously by any stretch of the imagination. You probably have a favorite candidate. Nobody cares who it is.)
ADVERTISEMENT
_thumbnail.jpg "NASCAR Cowboy Hats")
Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)
1. I am so frustrated, bored, and sad with these all presidential candidates. They mention "change" and then they start arguing stupid things. None of them talks about our national problems. Not the Democrats, not the Republicans.
I am trying to understand what is going on. I listen to those people from the media here (Internet). I dont forget CNN, FOX, etc. ...Results?
All these crazy superficial chat..all this nonsense...
I am not voting this year.
Posted at 9:40AM on Mar 22nd 2008 by Maria
2. Obama is an idiot. "You don't pick against Roy in March". Does he know that Roy Williams is known for not winning it all? He won for the first time in 2005 after TONS of chances. Picking UNC to go the Final 4 isn't a bad pick, but they won't beat Kansas or UCLA.
Posted at 9:53AM on Mar 22nd 2008 by tobrien28
3. Barack Obama: What You REALLY Need To Know Before You Vote!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe0frz7_xrk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEMZHQsQJ6Y
All the obama supporters are \defending him staying at the church, ALL the black ministers are defending Wrights preaching, that simply tells ALL Americans they also support his feelings of anti- America and white hatred that the church preaches. No one says Obama cant attend the church for 20 years, or raise his daughters to be racist like his wife, what we ARE SAYING is that HE CANNOT REPRESENT ALL OF AMERCIA AS U.S. PRESIDENT! Rev Wright was and most likely still is a paid advisor on Obamas campaign??? Obama and David Axelrod insisted that Obama be the black candidate early in SC when they tried to spin it on Bill Clinton, it worked for the biased tabloid media like CNN cronies, since then, we ALL have come to realize Obama has problems with the truth and we learned this week for sure where his faith and true beliefs are, its obvious THERES ABSOLUTLY NO CHANGE WITH OBAMA, HE WILL DRAG U.S. BACK TO THE 60'S RACIAL DIVIDE at a time our country needs to unite. He cannot do that, no matter how many black news casts tell you he can
OBAMA STANDS BEHIND SPIRITAL ADVISOR WRIGHT!
“Wright is like an uncle you love and respect” As imperfect as he may be, he has been family to me for so many years, I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community, said Obama. The man who believes and preaches the U.S. government formulated the HIV AIDS virus to commit genocide against blacks also preaches “We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye on 9/11. This is the same man Obama had as advisor on his Presidential staff until this week. Rather than break ties with his demagogic, anti-American pastor, Obama used a speech on the non-back race to excuse his behavior and sweep the controversy under the rug. Passing the buck. Obama supposedly condemning Wright's shocking verbal assaults against the U.S and White Americans, but April last year; Obama was the first and quickest to demand Imus' ouster for making a racially insensitive remarks. His opinions and issues change with the weather, he is too UNSTABLE and proven he cannot make a decision or stay with one. Next we have ALL corrupt campaign financers, business and personal friends as indicted Rezko, former Dallas Mayor Hill, Rep. Rick Renzi and Mr. Auchi, leading supplier of arms to Saddam's regime convicted for corruption in France, the same British-Iraqi billionaire lent millions and millions of dollars to Obama all coming out of the woodwork. ALL this from the half black ex-Muslim who touts change and claims to be a uniter of all people? Proof he is just another in-experienced Washington politician that the media has like CNN has given a free pass at the great risk of our great country! There will soon be allot more video of Rev Wright and Obama coming, all this has proven without doubt if he is the nominee the democrat voters he cannot win the general election, just the black vote will not do it. Its time for Obama to leave this race and take his not so proud of America racist wife, spiritual advisor and anti white church with him..
Posted at 10:36AM on Mar 22nd 2008 by jose
4. WE WANT OBAMAS ILL RECORDS POSTED NOW! WE NEED TO SEE WHO SUPPORTED HIM, WE ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THE LIES ABOUT REZKO! WHT ISNT THE MEDIA DEMANDING OBAMAS ILL RECORDS
Posted at 10:39AM on Mar 22nd 2008 by Lakeisha Jones
5. Do you folks not realize he is only saying that because he thinks he can win the NC primary (which hasn't been held yet)??? He'd say the same thing if Texas or SC or any of the other states have not had their primaries. HE'S A POLITICIAN........they say what they want you to hear!
Posted at 11:02AM on Mar 22nd 2008 by Beverly
6. Dudes. It's like, satire. Jacobi made a funny, and you all flipped. Relax guys.
Posted at 11:04AM on Mar 22nd 2008 by Skapanza
7. NONE OF THAT POST WAS REAL, except for the fact that Obama is taking UNC as his title pick. It's called SATIRE!!!!! You knuckle dragging imbeciles.
Posted at 12:32PM on Mar 22nd 2008 by alejandro de Castro
8. You stupid-ass, quick-to-condemn, illiterate, trailer-trash, idiots!
This post was not even real! Just an attempt to rile up the "most stupidest" amongst us! If you carefully read the last few lines, marked "disclaimer" you will see that none of this ever happened!
PATHETIC!
Posted at 2:50PM on Mar 22nd 2008 by Who's the REAL IDIOT?
9. This was hilarious
Posted at 2:58PM on Mar 22nd 2008 by dmackenz
10. nobody talks about americas problems,maybe none of them know how bad americas problems are
Posted at 4:35PM on Mar 22nd 2008 by WAYNE
11. If Barack Obama is a racist for being an associate of Rev. Wright then catholics must be pedophiles by proxy.
Posted at 11:12PM on Mar 22nd 2008 by meno pausal
12. Meno Pausal, you are so right!! Now REVEAL THE BRACKETS, is as relevant as much of the un-news coverage of the campaign.I wonder if Dick Cheney picks for Mr Bush? If Goerge Bush were to pick he would no doubt have had both Oral Roberts and Liberty Univerity in the Final Four.
Posted at 4:26AM on Mar 23rd 2008 by IzzonePride
13. Umm why are we even talking about this? There are 4,000 US soldiers dead and he wants to hear her bracket. WTF this country is so fu*cked
Posted at 7:29AM on Mar 24th 2008 by Kevin
14. to the ones who say 4000 u.s soldiers have been killed its 4000 americans including goverment workers, reporters, and any other american killed in iraq
Posted at 10:19AM on Mar 24th 2008 by david
15. In an effort to show her transparency, Hillary Clinton has finally released her NCAA Brackets:
http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii252/voterUS/HillaryNCAABracket.jpg
Posted at 4:50AM on Mar 25th 2008 by Dem
16. Dem: Okay, now that's really funny.
Posted at 4:51AM on Mar 25th 2008 by Adam Jacobi