In'Haus Email Thread: Jose Canseco Rules - FanHouse - AOL Sports Blog

The MLB FanHouse's collective mindset about the Jose Canseco/Alex Rodriguez BOMBSHELL is one of complete and utter awe, but we didn't know this until Lackey emailed the group yesterday and got this unsuspecting conversation on a roll. Below is the Google Tubes thread that ensued.

Pat Lackey: So I finally got around to reading the Deadspin post that includes the A-Rod passage of Canseco's new book and as I'm reading along, I get to this part on page 189:

"Stray-Rod," they call him.
Or, "Alex Rodriguez Is a Cheating Ass."
Or, my personal favorite, A-Rod, "Likes the She-Male, Muscular Type."

Hmm, I thought to myself. That seems awfully familiar. So I did some digging and:

Report: Alex Rodriguez 'Likes the She-Male, Muscular Type'

BAM!

And now, Matt's got the coolest FanHouse story of them all. I can't even dream of a scenario topping, "having a post title mentioned by Jose Canseco."

PostmanR: This is great. Me and Matt were talking about how that was his post last night. And how hilarious is that whole chapter? STOP CALLING MY WIFE A-ROD

Pat Lackey: That whole chapter is amazing. I've never been so captivated by bad writing in my life. Can we get Canseco to write for us?

Will Brinson : I can't get past:

"July 2, 1964. Jose Canseco is born in Havana, Cuba. As someone who changed the game of baseball twice, first by introducing steroids and then by exposing them, I think this is an important date. (My twin brother, Ozzie, was also born around this time, but this is my book."

I feel like there are at least 100 things that amaze me in that sentence alone.

Pat Lackey: My personal favorite was:

"When the cameras stopped rolling, Wallace asked me if we could talk, off-camera. He kept me there for another hour, clearly curious about steroids. . . . He wondered how the steroids and human growth hormones (HGH) might help him, a man in his eighties, live a longer, healthier life. He wanted to know everything. . . . When Wallace was done interrogating me, I could see I had piqued his interest. Whether I'd made a convert of him, I can't say. Still, I know, I was pretty convincing."

MIKE WALLACE!?!?!?!

Eamonn Brennan : MIKE WALLACE IS RUINING BASEBALL

PostmanR: If Jose Canseco doesn't have a blog, he really should.

Pat Lackey: For a second there, E, I thought you said, Mike Wallace is RUNNING baseball, at which point I thought to myself, "Mike Wallace is a Free Mason?"

Also, we should try to work the phrase, "Farm fresh eggs" into as many posts as possible.

PostmanR: If I had a wife, I would never take her to Miami. Because it's pretty apparent there's a magnet on Jose's nuts.

There were plenty of women around, readily available and wildly aggressive. I would go into clubs and restaurants with my wife on my arm, and they would literally push her aside. 'Oh Jose, you are even more handsome in person!' Even the married girls did it, with their husbands watching nearby, getting steamed.

I hope as he typed this, he literally imagined steam coming out of some dude's ears, straight out of a cartoon. Sometimes I like to imagine Jose's memory is like that. One gigantic Hannah- Barbara cartoon.

Josh Alper: Meanwhile, Ozzie sits in a dive bar somewhere in Fort Myers hitting on women who look like Mike Wallace.