The Dugout: They're Wearing My Hat? On the Street? My Hat IS MY HAT!

Posted Mar 29th 2008 1:36AM by Jon Bois
Filed under: New York, Yankees, The Dugout, MLB Biz

There's a certain type of sports fan we all know, because there are so many of them. You know, the guy who loves sports, but doesn't watch the NBA "because it's full of thugs and gangsters." The sort of guy who thinks Jackie Robinson was great, but unintentionally gives you the impression that it's awfully easy for him to say in the year 2008. I bring up this guy because he's also the guy who will notice a black man who fits his negative preconceptions wearing a baseball cap, nudge you, chuckle, and say, "I bet he doesn't know a single player on that team," as if he knows the name of the kid in the third-world country who sewed his shoes together.

This baseball-caps-marketed-as-gang-flags business, of course, has brought out the worst in this guy. The meat of the story is important, because any socially conscious store owner really shouldn't be selling these caps, but of course this just serves as a launching pad for his "you know what I'm getting at?" tangent.

These issues are not further explored in the newest Dugout, after the jump.

The Dugout

	GirardiAndCola: Guys, word just came down for the league office. Remember those Yankees caps they were marketing as gang flags? The ones with the stars on them?
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: yeah last year i saw one in a hat shop when i was looken fer a replacement, i figuret you got a star on yer hat every time you were a florida seminal
	GirardiAndCola: You just went to a store to buy another hat? What happened to your old hat?
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: i threw it at a duck and he peckt it to bits
	GirardiAndCola: Why
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: because kyle farnsworth
	GirardiAndCola: Fair enough. Anyway, apparently those hats are still being sold, so we need to completely dissociate ourselves from them. Don't wear them, don't sign them for fans, don't do anything that suggests that we're okay with our apparel being used for purposes of gang affiliation.
	long_live_giambi: I don't get it. Wouldn't the Crip want to just use a Reds or Nationals hat? Why a red Yankees hat?
	GirardiAndCola: I can only assume we're regarded as hardcore. You know, real soldiers. Taking the charges, offin' people just because it comes natural to us, that sort of thing.
	long_live_giambi: oh jeez! How are we going to keep our street cred without those hats? I don't even know how to work a corner. The other day I tried to aim my gun sideways and I got a hip pointer.
	GirardiAndCola: I don't know. Everything I know about gang culture I learned from "The Wire."
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: oh the wire is the realest show, my favorite guy on that is marlo stamfield
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: the one time he shoots snot boogie in the nut sack and is like "freeze, scum bag, your freaking dead, cuss words, dam it feels good to be a gangster" then he just starts breakdancen and spinnen around on his head
	GirardiAndCola: oh damn it we don't know anything about the streets
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: fear not my fine feathert friend, kyle 5-0 farnsworth installt "drug war" in this chat room
	GirardiAndCola: What?
	long_live_giambi: Oh, you mean that game everyone had on their TI-83 calculator in high school?
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: what, get that nerdcraft out of here or i'll calc u right now
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: watch and learn, crack friends /run DRUGWAR.EXE
	OnlineHost WELCOME TO DRUG WAR
	OnlineHost YOU HAVE 500 DRUGS. SELL DRUGS?
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: yes
	OnlineHost YOU HAVE 400 DRUGS. SELL DRUGS?
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: yes
	OnlineHost YOU HAVE 300 DRUGS. SELL DRUGS?
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: yes
	OnlineHost YOU HAVE 200 DRUGS. SELL DRUGS?
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: yes
	OnlineHost YOU HAVE 100 DRUGS. SELL DRUGS?
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: yes
	OnlineHost YOU HAVE 0 DRUGS. SELL DRUGS?
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: yes
	OnlineHost YOU HAVE BEEN SHOT AND ARE DEAD
	pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: frick
	E5_rod: /lights a Newport INDEET

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images

Comments [6]
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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)

1. THIS IS SO DUMB! THE CRIPS WEAR BLUE NOT RED! THE BLOODS WEAR RED! GIAMBI SHOULD SAY WHY DON'T THEY WEAR DODGERS OR RAYS HATS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

Posted at 12:38PM on Mar 29th 2008 by tobrien28

2. This is full of so much win.

Best thing Ive seen since you joined FanHaus

Posted at 2:09PM on Mar 29th 2008 by clydeftones

3. I know its a little late in the current post-Crisis in Infinite Kansas Citys Dugout universe to ask, but what does the E5 in "E5_rod" mean?

Posted at 8:37PM on Mar 29th 2008 by Tired

4. E5 means error at third base. There might be a more subtle joke behind it, or they could have just used the first thing that came to mind once they learned they couldn't call him homosexual_rod anymore.

I loved your videos, Jon, but it's good to see that you haven't given up the Dugout entirely. This was beautiful.

Posted at 12:44AM on Mar 30th 2008 by Simon

5. oh my god thank you for this, a-rod as omar is too funny. i love it when i find out other people watch this show besides me.

Posted at 12:13PM on Mar 30th 2008 by Barclay

6. I loved everything about this Dugout.

Posted at 10:45AM on Apr 2nd 2008 by Boy Howdy

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