After watching Sunday night's game between the Nationals and Braves I did a little research as to why Chad Cordero wasn't pitching in 9th inning. The Nationals were up by one run, so their closer should have been on the hill. What I found out is that he's been suffering from arm fatigue that culminated in a self-described "pop" in his shoulder while playing catch. His speed's been down all spring, too, which meant that I had to scrounge for whatever closers went undrafted in my fantasy league. My options: Eric Gagne or Ugueth Urbina. I'm coming to break you out, Ugi.Eric Gagne comes one step closer to retirement after the jump.
The Dugout
| **Online Host** Welcome to Wrigley Field Chat! | |
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SmokeSomeGagne: Thank you, Milwaukee. At long last I'm back on a team that understands that I'm a closer and deserve the ball in the 9th. That and 6 million dollars. |
| **Online Host** SmokeSomeGagne has let up a base hit and a walk. Two on, no out. | |
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SmokeSomeGagne: Sup buddy. |
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FukuClock: /tilts head /reluctantly waves |
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SmokeSomeGagne: Wait a second...you're that Japernese fella Wilbon keeps talking about. I don't know your style, so let's go ahead and assume you're like all the other Japanese hitters I know: a wild, senseless free-swinger. |
| **Online Host** The count runs to 3 balls 1 strike | |
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SmokeSomeGagne: Hmm, guess not. Well, I'm sure Japan hasn't figured out what a hitter's count is yet, so you probably think I'm digging into my junk drawer. I'll just groove a couple of high heaters by you and be one step closer to another Cy Young. /weak heat |
| **Online Host** FukuClock has drilled a game-tying homerun to right centerfield. A nation laughs. | |
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SmokeSomeGagne: Ow, my career. |
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GwynnLoseOrDraw: Hey, that's not the kind of attitute we expect to see around here. We're a good club, damnit, and we're going to win this game. |
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SmokeSomeGagne: How? |
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GwynnLoseOrDraw: The boring, National League way; sacrifice bunts and sacrifice flies. |
| **Online Host** The Milwaukee Brewers have won the game in the 10th inning. | |
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SmokeSomeGagne: Hey! We did it! Alright! |
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GwynnLoseOrDraw: Told you, man. |
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SmokeSomeGagne: And guess who got the win. I'm the man! |
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GwynnLoseOrDraw: Wait, really? You got the win? |
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SmokeSomeGagne: Yeah, check the box score. "Gagne (BS, W)". |
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GwynnLoseOrDraw: Oh, right. A bull**** win. |
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SmokeSomeGagne: Is that what that stands for? |
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GwynnLoseOrDraw: To anyone who knows anything about baseball, yeah. |
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SmokeSomeGagne: I'm still the man though, right? |
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GwynnLoseOrDraw: To anyone who knows anything about baseball, not a goddamn chance. |
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SmokeSomeGagne: /HGHs butt |
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SmokeSomeGagne: How 'bout now? |
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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)
1. GwynnLoseOrDraw: Oh, right. A bull**** win.
You, sir, win the internet for today. (I was laughing my ass off at work and trying to hide it watching that game. Pity the Cubs lost anyway, but they got to see some great comedy on the way there.)
Also, I feel your pain about Cordero. He was one of the guys on my short list of closers I wanted to nab that I actually did manage to nab, and look what good it did me. :P
Posted at 8:23AM on Apr 1st 2008 by pitchcount
2. Thank you for this. I was complaining to my coworker about how Gagne didn't deserve that win, but I guess that's how they score it...
Posted at 9:13AM on Apr 1st 2008 by Jason
3. I'm going to go punch my paperboy in the dick.
Posted at 12:39PM on Apr 1st 2008 by Ragingape
4. Eric GAG-me is the WORST pitcher ever to play for the Red Sox. (Milwaukee, you have my sympathy, but you're in for a long summer.) If the Cubs couldn't beat this overpaid bum, that's sad.
CHARLIE BROWN could beat Eric GAG-me!
Posted at 1:51PM on Apr 1st 2008 by David
5. !!! dont im swwy
Posted at 5:25PM on Apr 1st 2008 by steph
6. FINALLY. The paper never goes into this detail when showing a BS, W in the boxscore.
You learn something new every day on the internet.
Posted at 6:36PM on Apr 1st 2008 by Gleebo
7. I think you might be confused! His name is actually spelled "Gagne"!
With an N!
It's French!
Posted at 6:36PM on Apr 1st 2008 by Simon
8. Simon: yeah, it's French for "win," too, which is clearly a misnomer.
MisNomar?
whatever.
Posted at 8:43AM on Apr 2nd 2008 by Ryan