As we await the beginning of the NBA Playoffs on April 19, team mascots explain why their team will win the NBA Championship. Next up: Phoenix's Gorilla.
'Sup macks? The Gorilla here, noshing on some Cold Stone. Cookie Minster for the win!
I don't even need to 'splain why the Suns have this title wrapped up. The marquee says it all: Steve Nash, Shaquille O'Neal, Amare Stoudemire. Seriously, how can you touch that? I'll humor you. Let's say Steve is skating the concourse and gets blown out by a renegade popcorn cart, which sends his board a vat of nacho cheese, which splashes STAT in the eyes, rendering him blind and sending him careening into Diesel, who's tossing back a Polish but gets startled and bites his finger off. ... ... Damn this Cold Stone is good. ... (eats ice cream) ... What was I saying?
OH YEAH -- so all that stuff happens ... we're still coming with the Brazilian Blur, the French Pippen, Piat-f'n-kowski, Brian Skinner's beard, Roger Bell. (We think he means "Raja." -- Ed.) Can you believe that? DEEP, baby, deep. Who's halting the assault? They'll need to build a barricade in Texas to stop us this year. The Most Dominant, the Most Valuable and the Most Electrifying, plus one of the best benches in the West? Even Al Gore knows you can't stop the Sun! Ya damn right we will win.
Previous FanHouse Expert Predictions:
The Raptor
Covering our ass: This is, in fact, parody.
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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)
1. Sorry, but I need to say this photo of the gorilla eating Cold Stone is amazing! Love it!
Posted at 3:49PM on Apr 9th 2008 by Ryne Nelson
2. Its strange that every top team in the West has impressed with great wins over other top teams but they've all been punked by the worst teams in the NBA as well. I'd love to see the Suns go all the way and after tonight's win over S.A., there is reason to have hope. All the same, I'd have to say its really hard to say who is finally going to come out on top.... can't wait for the Playoffs!
Posted at 10:03AM on Apr 10th 2008 by michel