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Ah, Major League Baseball. If it isn't stimulants, it's steroids. If it isn't steroids, it's shady local taxpayer politics. And if it isn't any of the above, you can rest assured that you probably have at least one player on your team whose age is known only to him. Today's revelation? Miguel Tejada chopped two years off his age when he was 17. Er, 19:

Tejada was actually 19 when he signed as a kid out of poverty-stricken Bani, Dominican Republic. At the time, he says, a local coach encouraged him to say he was 17. "I'm a poor kid that wanted to sign," he said. "I'm feeling free now," he said. "It's something that I had in my mind."

It's a little muddled as to just how this revelation came about. This MLB.com story makes it seem like the Astros outed Miggy, while the Houston Chronicle link above makes it seem like this was Tejada's idea ... except for saying the discrepancy "first came during the course of a media interview." So who slipped up? And when?

Of course, none of this matters, because Astros GM Ed Wade says Tejada is playing like he's 25. (In which case, Miguel would like to reiterate that he actually is 25.) If Wade had asked for some ID before finalizing the trade -- Tejada carries around the documents with his actual age on them -- the Astros wouldn't be here in the first place.

Not that they seem to mind. No one is freaking out or getting angry, which is probably what I'd be doing if someone lied to me to take millions of dollars off my hands Someone might fill Wade in on the difference in expected performance between ages 32 and 34, but try not to be a buzzkill, OK? This is a tough day.