Earlier today, Fanhouse blogger Josh Alper (Dugout username: AmburgerAlper) brought the web log of Washington Nationals third baseman Ryan Zimmerman to our attention. Long story short he writes like a happy third grader and as someone who works almost exclusively in hearsay and slander I think it's great. Imagine if David Wright's blog was about how fantastic his lunch was.
And hey, we never talk about the Nats without talking about SteakGrowsOnDmitri, so I thought it was about time to give big ups to the motherland of Caucasia and represent the white folk of our nation's capital. No, not all of those white folk.
www.zimmerman.gov.ww/zimmerman, after the jump.
The Dugout
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BooneTang: ... what's that you typed at the end of your sentence? A colon and a /makes finger motion closed parenthesis? |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: heh, that's what we call an "emoticon!" It tells the reader how I'm feeling when I wrote the sentence! |
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BooneTang: well how does it do that! |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: here's the trick: turn your head to the side! What does it look like now? |
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BooneTang: /turns head, gasps A smiley face! |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: Right on! You can do all sorts of great things with AOL Instant Messenger®! |
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Imagine: Aw man, I didn't believe you when you said you had a blog, but there it is! I didn't even know you had a 'puter! |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: yep, hehh, I need to get a new one, this one's 'bout obsolete! |
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BooneTang: That's true, these days it seems like you buy a computer and then, next thing you know, it's owbsleet! I'm laughing out loud! |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: You don't have to type out "laughing out loud," Aaron. Just type "LOL" and the AIMsters™ will get what yer sayin! |
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BooneTang: LOL |
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Imagine: He's laughing! You're laughing now! |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: See? |
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Imagine: Say, write something on your blog! I've never seen someone blog before! |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: All righty then! /makes exaggerated typing motions Dear... blog! |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: "The new stadium is fantastic!!! If you have not been out there yet with the weather getting nicer, please come. It's an incredible ballpark." |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: "It's been so nice to see good size crowds. It really is fun to play before a loud crowd that is into the game." |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: "I hated to see Wizards lose in the playoffs. I went to a lot of games this past off season and it was so much fun." |
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Imagine: Hey now, Ryan, "hate" is a pretty strong word, the Internet isn't the Wild West! |
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BooneTang: ...an' now people can read what you just typed if they go on the internet? |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: Sure! As long as they can remember the catchy URL for my website! |
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Imagine: Ryan Zimmerman dot com? |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: No, that was taken... but the real one is just as good! h-t-t-p colon forward-slash forward slash "Comcast Sports Net" (one word) dot TV slash "pages" slash "blog" slash "zim" ! |
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BooneTang: I tell ya... if the Internet is the "World Wide Web," that must make you the spider! |
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Imagine: Write s'more in your blog, Spider Man! LOL |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: Sure! :) /type type type type |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: "I think that hot dogs are the perfect snack for a day at the ballpark. They taste great! Everyone should eat a hot dog." |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: "Screech the Eagle is so funny! He makes jokes with the crowd and gets them all riled up. His favorite food is gummy worms." |
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BooneTang: we're through the looking glass here, people. |
| **Online Host** DukesOfHazzard has entered the chatroom. |
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DukesOfHazzard: HOLE UP WHAT YOU WHITE BOYS DOIN ON MY COMPUTER |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: Eep! Heh heh, hey there Elijah! We were just |
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DukesOfHazzard: if any you n____ mess up my boondocks torrent, you dead dawg, i ain' even bulls___, your kids too /clicks a few keys S___!!! |
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BooneTang: What did you mean by "you dead dawg?" I don't understand that slang! |
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DukesOfHazzard: /draws pistol /waits a few seconds /hands picture to BooneTang |
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BooneTang: But this is just a picture of a yellow square! How would that make us... |
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BooneTang: Oh I see now, it's starting to develop, I was just going to say, we- |
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BooneTang: Oh. :( |
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WetHotAmericanZimmer: CHEESE IT |
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
5-09-2008 @ 11:18AM
Z.S. Ghost said...
SOMETIMES I TOO FEEL LIKE ROADKILL ON THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY! LOL!!!
Reply