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Celtics Have Figured It Out: They'll Just Bring Home Court Advantage to Cleveland

The Celtics are undefeated at home so far in this post-season, but are all-defeated on the road. The team's brain trust though finally seems to have a solution to their winless record away from the Gah-den in this year's playoffs: they'll just bring all of the comforts of playing at home to Cleveland! Yeah, that's the ticket! Dan Shaughnessy has the details:

This morning, a copy of the Globe will be set outside each player's room. If Kevin Garnett flips on his clock radio, he'll hear Glenn Ordway and friends screaming over each other on "The Big Show." If Paul Pierce clicks on his TV, he'll see Hazel Mae at the NESN sports desk. If Ray Allen orders room service, he'll get a bowl of Legal Seafoods clam chowder.

Start with the uniforms. After Saturday night's blowout, the Celtics petitioned commissioner David Stern to wear white jerseys at every game. Stern, who desperately wants the Celtics to play the Lakers in the NBA Finals, quickly agreed. So the Celtics will don white jersey tops when they dress for tonight's game. The Cavaliers are required to wear red or blue.

The article is 100% satire (i.e., it's a joke, people) but you get the idea. The Celtics have truly been a different team away from home during the playoffs, the most glaring stat being the fact that they're allowing their opponents to score almost 28 more points per game on the road than they allow at home.

Since no one else has been able to figure out why this is so, you can't blame the Boston media for throwing out crazy suggestions like this to see if they can get the Boston version of the Celtics to show up for the team's playoff games away from home. It might not be necessary though. The Celtics could not win a single road game and still win the championship, as they have home court advantage for the rest of playoffs.

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