Baseball is America's pastime, but had our forefathers enjoyed the modern conveniences of clocks, ball pumps, or haste, this pastime may well have been basketball or football. Instead, they had wood, leather, and a rudderless disposition. Baseball is Boring is a series of live blogs for folks who need irony and self-awareness to get through a game.
Today we have another mystery player, seen here in a Yankees cap. A small clue would be that he's my all-time favorite Yankees player. I'll drop more clues later if it's not immediately apparent.
Today we have the FIRST PLACE Rays hosting the SECOND TO LAST PLACE Yankees. I assure you my psilocybin habit has been thoroughly kicked, and that is indeed the case. A huge favorite to be the breakout team in the American League this season they've been exactly that, through strong pitching and timely hitting. Granted, I believe they'll fall back to earth in the months to come, it's still rather exciting to see action springing from the former cellar dwellers of the east.
THE ESSENTIALS
The Yankees (20-21) start Ian Kennedy (0-2, 8.37 ERA)
The Rays (23-17) start Scott Kazmir (1-1, 2.70 ERA)
ANALYSIS
The Rays have been playing the best ball in their franchise's history since they dropped the "Devil" part, which has really got me thinking. Was there an unholy presence within these manta rays? Webster defines "devil" as "the personal supreme spirit of evil often represented in Jewish and Christian belief as the tempter of humankind, the leader of all apostate angels, and the ruler of hell," which certainly strikes me as a not good thing. The Yankees also have a lot of money, and as we all recall from Matthew 19:24, "Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." The newly exorcised Rays hold a clear advantage.
PREDICTION
Yankees over the Rays 24-2.
QUICK NOTE ABOUT THIS LIVE BLOG
From here forth, our banal and worthless commentary can be read in the box below. It updates much like a one-way instant messenger conversation does, which means you do not need to keep refreshing the page. Feel free to comment in the box at the bottom -- if your sentiment is funny or poorly-informed enough, we may just post it in the blog. Enjoy!
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Reader Comments ( Page 1 of 1)
1. It's the Gambler
Posted at 4:06PM on May 15th 2008 by Justin
2. Baseball really IS boring...I laugh to myself everytime they show highlights on TV and you see like 100 people scattered about the stands.
Posted at 5:08PM on May 15th 2008 by Trey
3. Boring? Usually. This is why I live in Boston (Boston proper, no less) and still have never been inside Fenway Park. However, it's always shitloads of fun to watch on TV with cheaper, higher quality beer and food, and not get rained on or snowed on. Also, its not boring when A-Rod open hand slaps Arroyo mid-play.
Posted at 6:23PM on May 15th 2008 by jazzmoth
4. LOL I knew who the picture was in a hot second, sadly, I wasn't around for the live blogging. Anyway, check out my url for more Chuck fans, even though you need a livejournal account to see some of the friends-locked entries.
Posted at 3:17AM on May 24th 2008 by sandra