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**Online Host**
e5_rod has entered the New York Yankees Clubhouse Chatroom. |
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e5_rod: /breathes deeply
/tosses dufflebag onto bench
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e5_rod: /hangs hat
/leans forehead against wall, closes eyes |
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e5_rod: /notices the entire team standing silently behind him silently |
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e5_rod: uh... hello? |
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**Online Host**
The entire New York Yankees team is now smiling. |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /
sup heterosexual_rod
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BertySanchez: hey bro, how's it goin, how was your "holiday" weekend, heh, meet any girls while you were out, anybody we might know |
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LongLiveGiambi: yeah, did you meet any "material girls?" |
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AsianNegro: you know, somebody nice, "like a virgin" ? |
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GotMelk: come on Alex, tell us all about it, "express yourself" |
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AbreuInHalf: ya buddy i hear that celebrity hookups are in "vogue" |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wait is alex haven sex with en vogue i thought he was up to ones balls in madonna |
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e5_rod: *timidly* shut up joo guys, a-rah is not havingk sex with em vogue |
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e5_rod: ... an i swurr a-rah is not havingk sex wit modonna, look i have had a long night so if joo coul just let me alone i woul appreciate it |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that's not what the tabloits are sayen, aol presents the fanhouse is says it went down like... |
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**Online Host**
Welcome to the Sports Blogger Interpretation of Celebrity Events Chatroom, by Kyle Farnsworth Esq.! |
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e5_rod: HEY THERE MUSCLY ARM |
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RitchieBitch: i am attracted to you because you like "like a player" /pseudo-masturbates in cone bra |
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e5_rod: I HAVE MORE THAN ONE RACE JOOR CHILT WILL BE BEAUTIFOOL |
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RitchieBitch: do you loik moi british accent mate? come with me to me flat an 'elp me wif me yoga |
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e5_rod: TELL ME ABOUT KABBALAH THE RELITCHION |
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**Online Host**
And, scene. |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ...an then the both a yous stayt up doen the flip nasty an talken about that religion which is jus like boodism but with gas masks an hookswords |
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e5_rod: ¡ME CAGO EN LA LECHE DE LA PUTA QUE TE DATE LA LUZ! |
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LongLiveGiambi: what |
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3dw4r_r4m1r3z: /shrugs |
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e5_rod: THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HATE THE YANGKEES, JOO WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH |
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e5_rod: MODONNA AND aRAH ARE JUST WORG OUT BUDDIES AN BROTHER AN SEESTER IN THE EYES OF OUR KABBALISTIGK UNDERSTANDING OF GOD |
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e5_rod: BUT MY WIFE LEFF ME FOR LEMMY KRAVITZ |
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LongLiveGiambi: What?? No!! |
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AsianNegro: the guy from Motorhead? |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: you have a wife |
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e5_rod: NOT ANY MORE
AMERICAN ONLINE SPORTS FANHOU AOL BLOGK EVEN WROTE ABOUT IT, THE YANGKEES CHICK BROAG THE NEWS...
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**Online Host**
Welcome to The Fanhouse Minute Interpretation of the Dissolution of Alex Rodriguez's Marriage by The Yankees Chick, as read by Alex Rodriguez! |
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LennyNotCarl: HEY BABY I AM LEMMY KRAVITZ JOO ARE LOOKINGK HELL OF FINE
MY MOM WAS ON THE JEFFERSONS I AM HOT SH-- ARE YOU GONNA GO MY WAY
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she5_rod: I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON BUT NO I LOVE MY HUSBANT |
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LennyNotCarl: COME ON BABY I RAN INTO KYLE FARMSWORTH AN HE SAYS THAT WE SHOUL BE TOGETHER |
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she5_rod: REALLY KYLE FARMSWORTH SAID THAT OKAY THEN |
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LennyNotCarl: KYLE FARMSWORTHLESS IS RUININGK OUR AMERIGAN HOMES |
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she5_rod: YES HE IS THE GAUSE OF ALL OF OUR PROMBLEMS |
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**Online Host**
More about how My Favorite Team Who Always Wins is terrible after the jump. |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that woman deserves here revenge an we deserve to die |
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AbreuInHalf: you're just saying that because you think she's hot |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: shut up !!! /closes browser windows |
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BertySanchez: who lives this life where Madonna and Lenny Kravitz wander in and ruin their marriage, seriously |
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LongLiveGiambi: yeah really, I'm a big fat guy in a thong who looks like a Goomba from Mario 1, my first wife left me for a plumber |
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AsianNegro: I almost had a wife once, she dumped me for a body pillow |
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e5_rod: IT FEELS AWFUL AND NO AMOUNT OF MONEY OR FAME CAN ERASE THE PAIN OF LOSINGK SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT |
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e5_rod: HAVE SOME GLASS AN GOMPASSION |
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LongLiveGiambi: eesh, sorry A-Rod, we weren't thinking. |
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AbreuInHalf: The end of a marriage is a horrible thing to experience and we were just messing around, we hope you're okay and if you need anything just let us know. |
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e5_rod: thanks joo guys  |
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LongLiveGiambi: have you told the Captain yet? |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: does HE know how you have a wife, because i'm still laffen at that |
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e5_rod: where is he, do joo know |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: well accorden to the mlb sports weblog presented by americans on the line, he has been spotted "canoodelen with starlets jessica biel, scarlett johansson, minka kelly, the blont girl from 8 simple rules, an two of the olsen twins at a trendy night spot, all at the same time" reports tmz |
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e5_rod: WHAAAAAT
BOOOOOOYYYYYYYY~!!!!! /storms out of chatroom
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**Online Host**
Meanwhile, in Monument Park... |
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JetersNeverProsper: /pulls petals from flower |
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JetersNeverProsper: He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves- |
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JetersNeverProsper: /sobs |
This is the best and the worst time of year for Dugouts. The trade deadline looms and we'll get a chance to cover a lot of teams we don't normally cover. At the same time, the newsmakers of baseball start making news, and most of the time that involves a steady stream of unbelievable stories from the Yankees and the Red Sox. I want to do more Pirates Dugouts, but nobody in Pittsburgh just had their marriage broken up by a random assemblance of pop musicians. Nobody from the Pirates ran up a wall and high-fived a guy.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
7-06-2008 @ 4:09PM
Sports Bettor said...
funny as always :O)
Reply
7-06-2008 @ 6:20PM
A BaseBall Fan said...
lol, sumthin is wrahong with joo!
Reply
7-06-2008 @ 6:37PM
mranen said...
AsianNegro...definitely a top 10 dugout name.
Reply
7-06-2008 @ 7:19PM
sjt2115 said...
It was inevitable... and funny as hell.
Reply
7-07-2008 @ 12:19AM
Been There, Done That said...
Alright, A-Rod a few things to keep in mind if you are, in fact dating Madonna (otherwise known as Super Slut):
1.)When going on a date with Madonna, always a 4 foot length of 2x4 and some rope, also a miner's light. When having sex with her, tie the 2x4 to your butt to keep from falling in. If you do fall in, use the light to try to find your way back out. Also, while there, try to find Dennis Rodman's fedora, he lost it in there somewhere.
2.)Give the National Guard at least two days notice before going out on the aforementioned date with Madonna; they will need that long to coordinate the air-lift of penicillin and Valtrex to your location.
3.)Always remember: She took the name Madonna because "Super Trampp" was already taken.
Good luck!
Reply
7-07-2008 @ 10:42AM
futuremrsrickankiel said...
Um. AsianNegro = orgasm of the mind.
Reply
7-07-2008 @ 2:20PM
Tim Johns said...
that religion which is jus like boodism but with gas masks an hookswords
MK3 reference gets +50 points.
Reply
7-08-2008 @ 4:49PM
mojogal said...
aw sad. send him pics of smooshfacekitties
Reply