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Young Whippersnapper Joe Paterno Will Turn Around PSU Any Day Now

Penn State just got a commitment from an unranked wide receiver who plays running back for his high school team. PSU fans are naturally a little wary, especially given their struggles recruiting skill position talent of late, and this didn't help:
"I liked the coaches, and I think it's an up-and coming program," he said, adding that "I really do believe better days for Penn State are coming."
...and we've all mentally inserted "when JoePa finally retires," haven't we? Kuntz also had this beauty:
"My dad and I searched the internet looking at UConn and Penn State's rosters and where they are in terms of depth at wide receiver. Penn State doesn't look like they have much (coming back) and me coming in as a freshman that's going to be a huge advantage for me to hopefully play four years for them."
When you're considering UConn and Penn State and you pick Penn State for playing time, the Pennsylvania apocalypse is nigh. It was nice knowing you, Pennsylvania. Except Philadelphia.

Also, yes: hur hur hur he's got a funny last name. Have we mentioned Michigan picked up a commitment from Shavodrick Beaver? If this was Idiocracy, we would all be laughing so hard we would die.

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