Really, I don't know what to say about this game. The Texans are playing some maddening, inexplicable ball this year. Today, they ended up winning despite themselves and because of themselves. If you want to read a normal summation of the game, check out the AP report. If you want to read the relieved quote sheet from the Texans owner, coach and players, check out this.

This game is an illustration of why fans should always always always stay until the end. Here's my running commentary of select plays at the end of this game:

With 6:08 left in the game, Houston is forced to kick a 42 yard field goal to be up 23-21.

At the Miami 36 with 3:18 on the clock, Chad Pennington throws an interception picked off by safety Eugene Wilson. Instead of sitting down, Wilson runs towards the endzone but fumbles at the 27. My brain almost explodes. Fortunately, I had consumed a slight amount of alcohol that thinned my blood enough to prevent a full blown Scanners event.

The Texans defense is so horrific that they allow Miami to score a touchdown in only 5 plays and in 1:19 seconds. 28-23. Boooo!!!!! But wait, this leaves 1:45 on the clock. Keep hope alive and all that nonsense.

It was vintage Colts. Before you even batted an eye the Colts had built a huge first half lead at home. Peyton Manning found Marvin Harrison -- who toasted Chris McAlister like he (Harrison) was still young -- for a 67 yard strike. Before you knew it, Manning was back with another touchdown pass, this time to his new favorite target, Reggie Wayne.

And the rout was on.

Only things were supposed to be different this time around. The Ravens came in as the top ranked defense. Even if you split the stats up into run and pass defense, the Ravens were tops in everything. They were supposed to be the proverbial "immovable object." The Colts used to play the counterpart of "irresistible force," and the battles between these two teams were always billed as such. Only this time, as I said, it was supposed to be different.

The Colts are getting old. They've lost a step and they've lost their mojo. They can't stop the run. And on and on and on the detractors stated.

Instead, the Colts are 3-2.

Remember Week 2 when Jay Cutler fumbled a ball against the Chargers, except the referee, Ed Hochuli, screwed the pooch and said it wasn't a fumble? And remember how that call allowed the Broncos to win a game they should have lost? Well, karma reared its head in Denver this afternoon and another botched call allowed the Jaguars to win a game they couldn't afford to lose.

Sorta. When the flag flew on Marlon McCree for interfering with Jags receiver Greg Estandia in the fourth quarter, it allowed Jacksonville to run out the clock and secure the victory. McCree never touched Estandia and Dre' Bly was also the victim of a questionable flag earlier in the contest but it doesn't change the fact that the Broncos did more than enough to lose the game all by themselves.

David Garrard, averaging just 175 yards a game through the air entering play on Sunday, threw for 276 yards and a touchdown. Maurice Jones-Drew, 35 yards per game, had 125 yards and broke a 46-yard touchdown run that illustrated the issues the Broncos still have stopping the run this season. The defense gave up two other first downs on that final drive to help kill the game so the bad call, while convenient, doesn't excuse a poor afternoon's work by the Bronco defenders.

You had to know at some point that the Dolphins would do this.

The "Wildcat Formation" that has been so successful for the Miami Dolphins has struck for yet another huge play. The formation has featured Ronnie Brown taking the direct snap, Ricky Williams to his wing and Chad Pennington lined up as a receiver. Since implementing it in Week 3, Brown has kept the ball and ran for himself for several touchdowns, he's thrown a TD pass and had Ricky Williams break off some nice runs.

You knew that there was another wrinkle ready and Miami just showed it.

Brown took the snap and immediately handed it off to Ricky Williams. Williams ran parallel to the line of scrimmage looking for an opening. That's when Pennington reversed back behind Ricky, who then pitched the ball back to Pennington. The real quarterback found Patrick Cobbs running free in the Texans secondary and connected for a 53-yard touchdown.

It amazes me how effective this gadget play has worked over the past month for Miami.

The Houston Texans are a 0-4 team that could easily be 2-2 if they weren't so snake bit. Three of four on the road, with a Hurricane Ike-imposed bye in week 2.

They have lost in so many strange ways this season, that I don't think anything could surprise me. I mean, look at the above video from last week. It was like a remake of the movie Predator, with Gary Kubiak playing the Schwartzenegger guy and with the backup quarterback Sage Rosenfels playing the role of the uh Rosenchappa.

Well, five weeks in and I finally land my first push. Which is good news (and a little bizarre) I guess, since I still went 5-7-1 for the week. Which brings my astounding season total to 31-41-1. On the bright side, my Tungsten picks are 7-3, so if you've been placing your money ... actually scratch that. If you're wagering on my picks, you're a bigger loser than me.

But, I have been known to occasionally get warm. Streaky business this handicapping. Let's rock.

Oakland Raiders @ New Orleans Saints (-7)
You would think that the Saints could come off Monday night's debacle and piece together a decent game against the frigging Raiders. And I don't want Mantz accusing me of jinxing the Saints this week. Or did I just do that? Crap.

Saints -7

Baltimore Ravens @ Indianapolis Colts (-4)
Peyton Manning is like the Phil Mickelson of football and that should be self explanatory. (Loser turned winner goofball type.) Sage Rosenfels is still working on that transition so maybe Peyton doesn't deserve all the credit. Still, I'm not generally inclined to bet on Joe Flacco over anyone named Manning.

Colts -4

Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets (-6)
Doesn't this feel like a trap game? Cincy's horrible but they've at least been close in a few recent games. Jets favored by less than a touchdown, people teasing Brett Favre all over the place (No, not the "Nice painkiller addiction, wuss!!" type of teasing, you jackass.) And then BAM. Ryan Fitzpatrick gets all up in your bidness.

Bengals +6

Dwight Dixon, victim of an April 29th shooting in Philadelphia, is suing Colts star receiver Marvin Harrison.

The bare bones, if you remember, are that Harrison and Dixon were involved in an altercation ... and a bit later Dixon wound up shot with a gun owned by Harrison. Harrison has not been charged, but the case is still open. Harrison himself has admitted that he was in a fight with the victim, and that he did own the gun used in the shooting. He also maintains he wasn't the shooter.

On the surface, it looks like Harrison did something wrong, at the very least. His gun was used to shoot another person. Anyway you slice it, outside theft -- though Harrison never said his gun was stolen -- is bad. On the flip-side, he still hasn't been charged with a crime, and that's a long time without a charge in such a high-profile case.

Further clouding matters is the fact that at first Dixon told police he was wounded while driving, only to later change his story and accuse Harrison of the shooting.

Here are the claims of the plaintiff:

It may end up being nothing, but Titans coach Jeff Fisher may have put his foot in his mouth when he explained how the Titans re-signed Chris Simms on Monday.

As Fisher explained, Simms always knew that he would be re-signed on Monday. It was just a formality to waive him on Saturday (with him still being paid for the week), sign a backup punter and then reverse the move on Monday.

"We're keeping Chris around because he's important to us, not only for the immediate future but for the future," Coach Jeff Fisher said. "Chris totally understood the move, and we assured him we'd get him back under contract and we did."

The fact that the Titans had worked out a deal with Simms is no surprise--teams do things like it all the time. But by actually talking about it, Fisher has crossed a line. Dancing around the line of roster manipulation is one thing, but you don't admit it.

As a league source told Pro Football Talk:

"I'm not sure the league office is going to look very favorably upon that transaction and quote. It sure looks and sounds like a pre-existing agreement to manipulate the roster."

What may help Fisher out is that this is a very common deal, but we'll have to see if the NFL sends a fine the Titans way.

This season, FanHouse writers take their cameras to NFL stadiums to document what happens when you stop being polite and start getting real. Or something. We've cleverly titled it "FanHouse in the Stands."

Okay, in large part, I would like to get a brain eraser out, and eradicate the last 5 minutes of the Texans-Colts game. I'm sure that backup quarterback, Sage Rosenfels would like to do the same. But we can't, so I will pretend that didn't happen and think happy thoughts, and just show you some flavor of the game you can't see on TV. (And for those of you who enjoy this sort of thing, I've also included dancing Texans cheerleaders).

Me and the Commish

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was at the game to make a donation on the NFL's behalf to Hurricane Ike relief for the region. The above picture, however, is not of me and Roger Goodell. It is Joe Cahn, the Commissioner of Tailgating.

Two things were proven in yesterday's clash of defense-first football teams. The Titans might be better than we first thought and the Ravens might be a little more scrappy than initially projected.

Tennessee outlasted Baltimore yesterday 13-10 in a game that saw four interceptions, two quarterback ratings in the low 50s and no running back or receiver eclipsing the 100-yard mark. The Ravens did what they have been doing for years while the Titans are getting used to this "simplify the offense, let the defense strut their stuff" mentality that appears to be working to perfection.

Titans center Kevin Mawae, who said he is getting really sick of all the paparazzi outside his house on a daily basis, said after the game that it was all they really needed to continue their unbeaten streak.

"I think it shows the character of this team, from the young guys to the most veteran guys," Mawae said. "It wasn't pretty, but we made the plays when we needed to and we won the game."