Steve Nash's favorite Premier League team appears to have finally inked a forward in the form of Euro 2008 breakout, Russian baby face Roman Pavlyuchenko. The deal isn't 100 percent, but it appears Tottenham and Pavlyuchenko's Russian club Spartak Moscow have come to an agreement and the player himself is quoted as saying the move is done.

Now, does this move pave the way for Spurs to sell Dmitar Berbatov to Manchester United? Seems pretty likely.

Either way, it addresses a glaring need for the North London club, which basically only has Darren Bent as a forward, while Berbatov pouts with the reserve team. Oh right, Tottenham is winless in two Premier League matches so far.

How good Pavlyuchenko is and how he'll adapt to the Premier League is another good question. He did tally 77 times in 147 matches for Spartak and did show a knack for goal in Russia's nice run to the Euro 2008 semifinals. (Oddly enough, he was dubbed 'overweight' before the tournament.)

At the very least, he'll offer a physical presence with his 6-foot-2 frame to the pint-sized Spurs' midfield consisting of Luka Modric, David Bentley, Aaron Lennon and Jermain Jenas. Pavlyuchenko is considered fairly tall in the world of football, yet he's actually shorter than the 6-foot-3 Nash, who you'd never consider to be 'tall' in NBA circles. (Nash formerly played as an attacking-midfielder, not like Spurs need another of those.)

The final question, for this post anyway, is when and if Pavlyuchenko's Russian teammate Andrei Arshavin is next for White Hart Lane. In case you're wondering, he checks in at a towering 5-foot-7.

Isn't it bad enough that Manchester City has had to live its either life mainly in the shadow of Manchester United?

City and its extremely loyal fans have endured years of mediocrity and relegation and now have this Thaksin Shinawatra mess. Shinawatra, as you'll recall, is the former Prime Minister of Thailand, and now seeking political exile in England. Just read his Wikipedia page. (It'll make your head spin.)

Not exactly the best thing when you're labeled "a human rights abuser of the worst kind." That's something you tend to leave off your resume, if possible.

Considering my ignorance toward Thai politics, let's stick to sport.

This weekend Shinawatra has now offered to step down from the City board after he skipped a court date in Thailand. Shinawatra has also been warned to stay away from the City of Manchester Stadium for fear of his life.

It's amazing how this drama has played out. A year ago Shinawatra has hailed as a semi-saviour to City, bringing in former England coach Sven-Göran Eriksson, who in turn signed a boatload of players (Elano, Corluka, etc.) which moved City from the relegation zone to mid-table respectibility. Well, a year later Eriksson is now coaching Mexico's national team and City seems on the verge of an out-an-out crisis even if Shinawatra claims money isn't a problem for him.

If there's a lesson here, it's not to allow you're favorite sports team to be sold to a man that's the target of coups and international tribunals even if that man has made billions through possible insider trading.

The best-case solution here? Shinawatra sells his interests to boxer Ricky Hatton and the Gallagher Bros. from Oasis.

It's hard for me to imagine Robbie Keane wearing something other than a Tottenham Hotspur kit. He's been the heart and soul of that team for the last six years. When he did that little dance after Spurs won the Carling Cup Final, he looked like he would be at White Hart Lane for life.

Yet there he was at Liverpool's training ground, completing his physical and coming to terms with another club. Like every other big-name Premier League player, Keane wanted Champions League action, and he wasn't going to get it with Spurs. So the club has granted him his wish today and sold his contract to Liverpool for £19 million.

Keane's move breaks up one of the best strike partnerships in the league, and chances are Dimitar Berbatov could leave, too, if another club meets Spurs' hefty asking price. It's kind of amazing to see this club sell off its two best forwards just as Juande Ramos finally addresses the club's midfield and back line issues, but it seems this sort of thing is standard practice at White Hart Lane. Without Keane and Berbatov, Ramos will likely face a huge struggle to win anything more than another bid to the UEFA Cup next year.

We're never really going to know who owned the player rights to Carlos Tevez when he arrived at West Ham United in 2006. The East London club insisted he was a fully registered player, while stories persisted that Media Sports Investments and their sleazebucket owner, Kia Joorabchian, still owned his economic rights, which would have been a violation of Premier League rules.

That's not the case anymore. The Guardian is reporting that Manchester United paid £32 million to make Tevez's loan from West Ham permanent, officially sweeping one of the most sordid stories in Premier League history under the rug.

That transfer fee is a record for an English club, eclipsing the £30M that Chelsea wasted on Andriy Shevchenko. Perhaps that cash was better spent on Tevez, who's only 24 and who scored 19 goals in 39 games last season. Some have suggested there are better potential strike partners for Wayne Rooney -- and Sir Alex Ferguson reportedly has a list -- but Rooney and Tevez played well together last season and could remain the Red Devils' first options up front for years to come.

Perhaps the only question now is whether the record fee for Tevez might hasten the sale of everyone's favorite brown-and-serve winger, Cristiano Ronaldo. Real Madrid, however, has reportedly given up on CR7 and is only thinking about Cesc. (UPDATE: Cesc isn't thinking about Madrid.)

When Bill Gates got hitched and became a philanthropist, he and his wife decided to use his billions to try and eradicate several persistent diseases. Somewhere at the top of the list: malaria, which is still prevalent in many parts of Africa.

Arsenal supporters would like the Gates Foundation to work a bit faster, please. Center back Kolo Touré contracted malaria while visiting home in the Ivory Coast and is expected to miss the start of the season. You can hear the Gunners switching to Mac now, can't you?

While some like to call malaria "the gift that keeps on giving," Touré is not contagious and has a very treatable form of the disease, so he could be back in action by early September. That's good news for Arsenal, who are already fearful of losing key players on the transfer market. The last thing Arsene Wenger needs is to lose even more players to diseases that Gates and his billions haven't gotten rid of yet. Barcelona is doing its part to help, though -- which is the least they can do, considering their dogged pursuit of Emmanuel Adebayor.

The MLS All-Stars pulled out a 3-2 victory over West Ham United last night in Toronto, but the real highlight of ESPN's otherwise annoying coverage of this game -- who else misses Andy Gray? -- might have been Rob Stone's encounter with Bitchy the Hawk, who keeps the seagulls away from BMO Field. For a man who fearlessly throws streamers back at Toronto FC fans and bites into the world's hottest peppers, he's awfully skittish about a bird. Then again, they must have named that hawk after Didier Drogba for a reason.

Actual highlights of the game itself, including two goals from Dean Ashton and an MVP performance from Cuauhtemoc Blanco, are after the jump.

(H/T: Awful Announcing)

The Major League Soccer All-Star Game kicks off tonight in Toronto, and the best players in MLS, all of whom are in mid-season form, will face a mid-table Premier League club (West Ham United) just starting its preseason. The All-Stars will probably win -- just as they did against Celtic, Chelsea and Fulham in the last three All-Star Games -- and MLS will hold it up as an example of how their players can compete in any league in Europe.

Of course, this is nonsense. No MLS club could survive the Premier League season, because no club is deep enough or talented enough to handle it. (I could explain why, but I'd be repeating myself.) Plus, playing a team still in preseason mode is much easier than playing team in midseason form. That's why MLS hasn't won a CONCACAF trophy in eight years.

It does bring up an interesting question, though, which I will pose to you, FanHouse readers -- if this All-Star team was its own club, how would it fare in Europe?

Earlier this week, Will Ferrell showed up for promotional appearances on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and MTV's Total Request Live sporting this old school Chelsea jersey. This pretty much ensures that no self-respecting Gooner will ever spend a dime on his movies again.

Ferrell is the newest addition to Chelsea's offcial Celebrity Fans list. He's up there with Michael Caine, Owen Wilson, Tara Reid, Busta Rhymes and Guy Ritchie. Sounds like a really crappy film waiting to happen, doesn't it?

(H/T: Unprofessional Foul)

101 Great Goals found some video of the "brawl" between West Ham United fans and Columbus Crew fans on Sunday. Somewhere, Oakland Raiders fans are watching this and laughing their spikes off. A few punches are thrown, but for the most part, it's just a few drunken Englishmen trying rouse some rabble. Those Crew fans probably see worse than this every autumn Saturday at Ohio State home games. Even the English press seems bemused by the whole thing.

Then again, those West Ham fans are dirty foreigners, so this must prove to haters like Jim Rome and Bryan Burwell that soccer just is too dangerous for America. Whatever. For an incident that some are labeling a "wake-up call," it wasn't exactly the Malice in the Palace.

What happens when you mix a notorious English hooligan firm with a bunch of Ohio sports fans that like to throw bottles and racial epithets? I hope you're not expecting a Camp David summit.

West Ham United supporters ventured into the Columbus Crew's supporters section in an attempt to start a brawl during halftime of yesterday's friendly between the two clubs in Columbus. According to reports, the fight spilled out onto the concourse, and several punches were thrown before police attempted to break it up.

After halftime, a banner was unfurled that read "ICF, 30 Years Undefeated." ICF stands for Inter City Firm, which is one of the most notorious hooligan groups in English soccer. No word on whether any Ohio State football fans have asked them for a rematch.

Oh, by the way, West Ham plays the MLS All-Stars on Thursday -- in Toronto. Gee, I can't think of a more mild-mannered group than Toronto FC supporters. What could possibly go wrong?