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I'm sure the marketing department at ESPN only saw cross-promotional gold here when they struck a deal with Coldplay to use music from their new album during the network's EURO 2008 coverage. Big European band. Biggest European sporting event of the year. Biggest sports network in America showing the games in HD. I'm sure they all thought it fit together nicely.

But we all know what's coming -- an endless stream of "You know how I know soccer's gay?" jokes. Let's not kid ourselves into thinking all the soccer-bashing lunkheads in this country will miss that movie reference so easily.

Nice going, ESPN. You're going to have to give Heather Mitts a ton of airtime next month to make up for this.

(H/T: We Are The Postmen)

There's nothing quite as annoying as a reformed smoker. They always walk up to you while you're having that one cigarette you set aside in the day for me time. Telling you how to fix your life by quitting. I'm sure it's true, but there's a time and a place for that kind of talk. And this isn't it.

Oddly enough, the International Olympic Committee might be having these same exact feelings following reformed steroid peddler, Victor Conte's latest interview.

"The Olympics are a fraud. It's all about money," Conte told BBC Sport. "Those who control the money, control the anti-doping policies. They are still inept to this day."

Yup, this is the same guy that served jail time for conspiracy to distribute and money laundering. And to be honest, he sounds a lot like Jose Canseco if you watch the video portion of the interview. I'm not knocking the guy. If he's out to clean up drug testing in sports, I'm all for it.

He did meet with former Anti-doping Agency head,....wait for it....Dick Pound. And gave pointers on how his operation worked. And he isn't afraid to call out Olympic officials in general.

"I have been told by Olympic officials that there have been positive drug tests that have been covered up," he revealed. "They (the officials) have direct knowledge of this and at some point this information will come out

I hope, unlike Jose Canseco, he doesn't start dropping names (oops!). It's enough that he inform officials about how to get around their testing practices. Even if he is exaggerating just a little, Conte doesn't paint a pretty picture of the competence of drug testing in Olympic and professional sports. And given recent events in baseball, it's not hard to believe. It will be interesting to see a response from the IOC or any professional sports. Or if any respond at all. I would like to know the sports I follow are clean. Even if that meant a reduction in performance. And if you see me off smoking a cigarette by myself, how's bout you give me a few minutes peace.

We don't talk a lot about snooker here at FanHouse because, really, does any American care at all about snooker? (Here's the Wikipedia entry if you're not quite sure what snooker is.) But we do talk a fair amount about streakers, so when a streaker invades the world of snooker, it's worth a (safe for work) look:

That was a streaker delay during Ronnie O'Sullivan's 18-8 victory over Ali Carter at the 2008 world snooker championship yesterday in Sheffield, England. And it's very big news in England, where The Telegraph says streaker Mark Roberts is "on a hot streak" and The Sun makes Roberts a bigger story than O'Sullivan. NFL fans should get ready to see Roberts when American football returns to London next year.

Dhani Jones probably won't be trading his quest for the Lombardi Trophy with a quest for the Heineken Cup any time soon, but the Cincinnati Bengals linebacker got a taste of American football's distant relative when he trained with Blackheath Rugby Club, which was founded it 1858 and is the third-oldest rugby club in the world. Blackheath currently plays in National Division Two, the third tier of English club rugby behind the Guinness Premiership and Division One.

Jones is filming a series of segments for the Travel Channel in which he learns how to play international sports that are unknown to most Americans. He's currently in Ireland learning the old Gaelic sport of hurling.

Its like the EU has some rule that for every 80,000 soccer fans there has to be room for 300 exotic entertainers. Every major event always has some accompanying story discussing the staggering numbers of immigrating prostitutes, and this year's European Championships are no different.

The Lorraine district of Bern, Switzerland is preparing for such an influx with ... and RV park. We couldn't make this up if we tried, but the city is designating a trailer park as the official Red Light district for those that care to knock on some van's a rockin'.

Not that we condone prostitution, but somehow, somewhere, the decision is a victory for capitalism and the free market. The following clip argues for the ladies of the night in a very nonchalant, very Swiss manner. We recommend jumping to the :40 mark for tour of the area and its neighboring drinking establishment.


Disclaimer: cartoon toplessness at the end of the video. Won't somebody please think of the children?

Here's a little something for all you people who enjoy watching someone get knocked out with one punch:


That's Barry Hall, star forward for the Sydney Swans of the Australian Football League. In last weekend's Swans v. West Coast Eagles match, Hall put a ferocious left hook on Eagles defender Brent Staker, effectively knocking Staker out of the game.

Hall is expected to receive a lengthy suspension from the AFL. Perhaps he could use that time to reconsider his career path. "Big Bad Barry" has a history as a boxer, and one boxing agent in Australia suggested that Hall could make up to AU$10 million in Australia alone if he quit Aussie Rules and took up boxing. With his punching ability and his trademark toughness -- which is also shown in this video -- Hall looks like he could have quite a career in either boxing or mixed martial arts.

Maybe after his $600,000-a-year deal with Sydney is up in 2009, Hall should look into it. He'd certainly bring the AFL more worldwide publicity than, say, Sav Rocca.

One day very soon, there is going to be some kind of expose biography of the struggle to control one of England's most storied clubs. The strife at Liverpool this season is enough to garner some kind of BBC mini-series, and the latest turn has new owner Tom Hicks calling for the resignation of club CEO Rick Parry. Parry has been in charge of Liverpool for 10 years, a stretch that includes 2 League Cups, 2 FA Cups, a UEFA Cup and a Champions League title. This isn't enough for Hicks, who sees Parry in the corner of warring partner George Gillett, and is essentially trying to eliminate the competition or at least draw a line in the sand. ESPN Soccernet has all of the juicy details, including back-channel text messaging and the ever present "potential buyer in Dubai" that hovers over the proceedings at every step.

Oh my, isn't that a mouthful of a title? Either way, Das FanHaus and the official unofficial source of all things MLS here at Fanhouse is here to say "Nay" with a hearty dash of name-calling. Dave Warner disses the current state of MLS forever and ever on this side of the world, to which we say "The right gentleman, Mr Warner, is a spanner and rightfully disagree."

Last night's double drubbing of DC and Houston at the hands of Pachuca and Saprissa are certainly disappointments, but they are by no means anything more than a pair of international losses. These things happen, and they should be taken in stride. We have said on countless occasions that MLS is growing up as a league and should no longer be handled with the kid gloves, but this minor setback is not indicative of any kind of future failure: CONCACAF Champions Cup, InterLiga, CONCACAF Champions League, or whatever other falderall our Western hemisphere amigos concoct in this lifetime.

In probably one of the more boring celebrity traffic violations in Beverly Hills, David Beckham was pulled over for making an "illegal left turn between Fairfax Avenue and Sunset Boulevard and issued with a $160 ticket" according to the Lancashire Evening Post. This is news in England.

David, who was wearing dark sunglasses and a white short-sleeved T-shirt, was also warned he would be given one point on his driver's license unless he agrees to go to traffic school.

Oh be still our beating hearts. Beckham in traffic school should be one of those VH1 reality shows all in itself. "What does a yellow light mean?" Slow down. "Whaaaaaat......doooooooes....."

The Melbourne Demons turn 150 years old this year, and they're celebrating by being the absolute worst team in the Australian Football League. They lost their first two games by an average of 99.5 points, and going into this weekend's match with the defending champion Geelong Cats, Demons coach Dean Bailey had one goal for his team -- being competitive. Clearly, he believed that if he said it enough times, he would make it true.

He almost did, actually. Geelong defeated Melbourne by only 30 points. Maybe for his next press conference, Bailey should say "Win" 27 times.

(H/T: Jeff Wortman of The Footy Wrap)