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AFL Star Barry Hall May Have Future in MMA

Here's a little something for all you people who enjoy watching someone get knocked out with one punch:


That's Barry Hall, star forward for the Sydney Swans of the Australian Football League. In last weekend's Swans v. West Coast Eagles match, Hall put a ferocious left hook on Eagles defender Brent Staker, effectively knocking Staker out of the game.

Hall is expected to receive a lengthy suspension from the AFL. Perhaps he could use that time to reconsider his career path. "Big Bad Barry" has a history as a boxer, and one boxing agent in Australia suggested that Hall could make up to AU$10 million in Australia alone if he quit Aussie Rules and took up boxing. With his punching ability and his trademark toughness -- which is also shown in this video -- Hall looks like he could have quite a career in either boxing or mixed martial arts.

Maybe after his $600,000-a-year deal with Sydney is up in 2009, Hall should look into it. He'd certainly bring the AFL more worldwide publicity than, say, Sav Rocca.

Random YouTube Magic: Be Competitive!


The Melbourne Demons turn 150 years old this year, and they're celebrating by being the absolute worst team in the Australian Football League. They lost their first two games by an average of 99.5 points, and going into this weekend's match with the defending champion Geelong Cats, Demons coach Dean Bailey had one goal for his team -- being competitive. Clearly, he believed that if he said it enough times, he would make it true.

He almost did, actually. Geelong defeated Melbourne by only 30 points. Maybe for his next press conference, Bailey should say "Win" 27 times.

(H/T: Jeff Wortman of The Footy Wrap)

German Speaker Finally Realizes Professional Footballers Overpaid

"I am annoyed about the constant and substantial excesses which have blighted sport for years - particularly in football,"

"If the wealthiest German football club buys a Brazilian teenager for 14 million euros and gives him an income which most family men can not gain after years of hard work, something is wrong."
(Source: AFP)
These were the words of Norbert Lammert, the leader of Germany's parliament and possibly the most powerful Norbert in recorded history. It seems that Lammert has finally realized that professional soccer players gracing the larger European leagues get paid ungodly sums of money. In other news, beer is still delicious and footbal=popular. While we at Das FanHaus applaud Norbert for his populist approach to sports entertainment, we can't help but think there's an unsettling trend going on in Das LawHaus.

At first glance, the commissars are deriding the Bundesliga giants like Bayern Munich for their exorbinant salaries that dwarf the common workingmensch. Upon closer inspection, however, they are just as guilty themselves. According to research at DW-World.de, the average German worker takes home about 28k a year. Meanwhile, the basic pay for a member of parliament is about 72k a year. Sure, those Brazilian youngsters booting the ball around make many times over what either example takes in yearly salary, but maybe the lawmakers should start setting the examples with their own paychecks. Thoughts about limiting the German transfer budgets or increasing footballers income taxes are probably not the best way to attack the problem. We're guessing average Joe Berliner doesn't care how much one-named Brazilians are earning as long as their favorite club refrains from sucking.

(HT: The Offside)

Amateur Australian Ruler Celebrates With 'Metal Krusty-O'

A wonderful secret finally came to light today thanks to the latest British Medical Journal. Australian Rules footballers will drink anything. That's the hypothesis today as it was revealed that a 24-year-old Adelaide man (not pictured) swallowed a beer cap in celebration of his teams amateur victory in the footballing sport of the debtor's prison. Upon drinking the spoils of war from the local league cup, the man boldly swallowed a West End bottle cap, temporarily blocking his esophagus before becoming lodged in his chest.

For more information on the premium lager of Australia and New Zealand, we consulted the brewery website, Lion-Nathan.com. According to the official fact sheet, West End Draught is "A favourite with generations of South Australians this well-balanced lager with a clean hop bitterness is an outstanding example of an Australian draught lager." It was first brewed in 1859 and is 4.5% alcohol by volume.

The young man was recorded as having a .11 BAL when doctors removed the cap via endoscopy. According to Das FanHaus' handy dandy BAL calculator, this equates to roughly 10 beers in 5 hours or a more likely 6.5 beers in 1 hour. Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oy! Oy! Oy!

Das FanHaus would like to remind everyone to celebrate this holiday season by drinking responsibly, even down under.

(HT: News.com.au)

FA Confirms Capello as England's Next Manager, Streets Run Red With Scoreless Ties

The FA confirmed today that former Real Madrid manager Fabio Capello would replace Steve McClaren as coach of the English national team. Capello is faced with the daunting challenge of winning England's first World Cup in over 40 years.

The new manager's problems are multiple, with the state of English football considered in peril by most. Unable to qualify for the upcoming Euro 2008 Championships, the home of world famous Premiership must undergo a thorough housecleaning before it can focus on developing national talent. Capello brings with him the knowledge of working in the brightest of spotlights and the highest of expectations, both qualities absolutely necessary for his new position.

(HT: Guardian Unlimited)

CFL Uses Lenny Kravitz to Deliver a Message to Roger Goodell

You might have noticed a lot of chatter lately about the possibility of an NFL team moving to Toronto -- and how many believe that an NFL team in Toronto might end up killing the Canadian Football League. Well, CFL officials quietly let everyone know their stance on an NFL team in Toronto -- by hiring Lenny Kravitz to perform at the Grey Cup Final halftime show on Sunday.

This had me scratching my head when I heard about it. After all, Kravitz is definitely not Canadian, not to mention hasn't been particularly relevant since the 1990s. Why was he playing the CFL halftime show?

The second song in his three-song set revealed all:

American woman, said get away
American woman, listen what I say
Don't come hangin' around my door
Don't wanna see your face no more
Coloured lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else's eyes

There is no possible way that was an accident. Message sent, CFL. You realize, though, that you just made Roger Goodell even more determined to destroy your 12-man, 3-down, 110-yard gridiron game before decade's end. Good luck fending off the impending invasion.

Saskatchewan Wins Grey Cup by Somehow Scoring Canadian Points

The Roughriders won their third Grey Cup today, their first in 18 years, by defeating the Winnipeg Blue Bombers 23-19 in the 2007 Grey Cup, held at Toronto's Rogers Centre. A crowd of 52,230, mostly clad in Saskatchewan's blinding green, enjoyed a fun filled Canadian afternoon in the former SkyDome, the title game ending a week-long festival of all things CFL. The Canadian national anthem was sung by Winnipeg's own Burton Cummings of The Guess Who The Barenaked Ladies while Lenny Kravitz performed a halftime spectacular worthy of eight years ago.

In a hotly contested match that included three Winnipeg safeties, five field goals, and absolutely zero rouges, Saskatchewan cornerback James Johnson won the MVP award for his three interceptions. Winnipeg's Ryan Dinwiddie made his first CFL start at QB, replacing the injured Kevin Glenn. Dinwiddie came to the Roughriders Blue Bombers by way of Boise State, NFL Europa's Hamburg Sea Devils, and the Chicago Bears, making him the second Bears quarterback to ruin a title game in the same calendar year, an unconfirmed record for North American sports.

Canadians Cancel Pre-Game Pancakes on Account of Snow

After a brief hiatus for turkey, leftover turkey, and reheated toilet humor, we checked back in on our favorite Canadian Football League to see what's been shaking up north in preparation for Sunday's title clash between Winnipeg and Saskatchewan. The Toronto Star gives us the latest and greatest update on the festivities: 'Wimpy' Calgarians cancel sidewalk pancakes. Showing how little I paid attention in Canadian History as a young lad, apparently, this is kind of a big deal.
Nearly 60 years ago, Calgary Stampeders fans cooked pancakes in front of Toronto's Union Station from batter they brought with them on the train. One fan rode a horse through the lobby of the Royal York Hotel opposite. They were wild, those Calgarians. They were tough. They showed Toronto how to party and Calgary continues to sponsor breakfasts wherever the Grey Cup is held.
What kind of world is this when a little bit of snow cancels such activity that could only be classified as "rootin'" and or "tootin'?" This is Calgary we're talking about here! They're like the Texas of Canada, and there's a possibility that these Royal Canadian Mounted Pancakerers are surrendering on account of some snow? This I would suspect of the Quebecois, being the wine drinkers and pea soup eaters that they are, but dang it, I've been told that it's not the Grey Cup until a Calgarian rides a horse indoors somewhere in Toronto.

The sidewalk sale of pancaking is supposed to signal the beginning of Canadian Winter, but this year, schoolchildren across the land will just have to do with penguin reenactments of the French and Indian War and other completely unfair Canadian stereotypes.

Giants Beat Dolphins In London ... Now Let's Go Home

Look, I'm not one of those guys who says that the NFL should never play a game in a foreign land. I just don't think that it needs to be a regular season game.

Nothing against London or Wembley Stadium, really. Or even the idea. The fans were kinda, sorta into it [though booing the Giants kneeling on the ball at the end of the game pissed them off]. And as I honestly expected, there was a streaker. But most in the crowd were Americans making the jump across the pond and the field was awful; I mean, who woulda thunk it woulda rained in England!?!?! It clearly affected the play on the field ... and we didn't send our best product out there.

I know that owners get their jollies ripping the money out of fans with pre-season games at regular season prices ... but that's where this international stuff needs to go. We used to have those "American Bowls" in Tokyo, London, Mexico City, etc. Bring that back. Look at the NBA playing their preseason games in non-NBA cities. Do that. Go back to Germany with preseason games. Just don't place a real game there.

The one positive is that Roger Goodell got to see this up front before placing a Super Bowl away from home. It rained in Miami during the last Super Bowl ... but the field looked pretty darn good. Wembley Stadium looked like a horse track before the game even started. The most ironic thing about this game was Goodell talking about setting a "grass roots" movement internationally ... while the "grass roots" on the field of play were turned upside down.

CFL Team Releases Akili Smith

Former Cincinnati Bengal and forever NFL Draft bust Akili Smith has been released by the CFL's Calgary Stampeders:
Smith spent most of the season backing up Burris before being promoted to the No. 1 spot when Burris injured his shoulder. But injury and ineffective play prevented Smith for finishing either of his two starts.

He left in the second quarter of Calgary's 42-9 loss to B.C. with a groin injury, forcing the Stampeders to go the rest of the way with inexperienced rookie Nealy. Smith started last week's 33-21 loss to Saskatchewan but after completing 4-of-12 passes for 37 yards in the first half, Smith was replaced by Sankey to start the second.
Smith went just 22-of-47 for 219 yards with 0 TDs and 5 INTs in his illustrious Stampeders history.