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Not much more polish can be put on such a headline when Australian marsupials and amateur track and fielding are involved. The exact details of the endangering incident now coming to light, and two Western Force players, Scott Fava and Richard Brown were fined $11,000 and $5,000 respectively for their mistreatment of the adorably copper deficient quokka. The Australian goes on to describe the sentencing:

The money will be paid to the conservation foundation on Rottnest Island, where witnesses described seeing the men tormenting the quokkas, "hammer throwing" one by its tail and trapping another under a milk crate. Authority chairman Laurie O'Meara said he believed the club had dealt with the issue swiftly and effectively, and the money far exceeded what they could have expected if they had pursued the players in court.

Hammer throwing a quokka? Why? The wonders of binge drinking, of course. Fava has been enlightened by his quokka tossing and following punishment. In the face of a stiff fine and community service, he has sworn off binge drinking. Not drinking, mind you, just binge drinking.

(H/T: Deadspin)

The greatest music video of all time? No, it's not Michael Jackson's Thriller. It's this video from Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis. I've been a fan of this video for ... oh ... over three years now and I think The Fanhouse deserves to get a taste.

According to the Lagos Vanguard, the Nigerian athletes participating at the All-Africa games arrived in the host city of Algiers, Algeria without proper equipment or uniforms for the games, prompting one sprinter to shun his country's flag entirely during the medal ceremony.

From the Vanguard, via All Africa.com:

Nigerian athletes did not have kits. They appeared in their different colours, not uniformed. Even during medal presentations, the Nigerian winners would only be known when the announcers identify them. They had no Nigerian Track Suits for such colourful events. Big Shame.

An athlete without a track suit simply cannot win! Or at least, they cannot look cool pulling off the ripoff pants prior to competition. (Note to self: We need to start using that phrase more: Big Shame.) The Nigerian National Sports Commission has been the target of--shocking!---allegations of theft and fraud for years in the nation, as Nigeria is the most populous and one of the wealthiest nations in Africa yet struggles to field consistently competitive teams or contingents in any major international sport.

Nigeria's not alone, however, in their administrative bungling. The All-Africa games as a whole may fall under new management in the form of the African Olympic Committee, who would be taking over from the ham-handed mismanagement of the African Union's sporting division. (And we all know how transparent and honest Olympic committees are. ) Nevertheless, it may be trading horrible management for merely bad, which would be a marked improvement.

The Debriefing is a column that runs every weekday at 9:00 a.m. here on FanHouse. It goes deep into one issue and then bounces around to a plethora of smaller ones ... and does it all in a way that will make you feel like the prettiest girl at the cotillion. Bookmark this page, and visit daily.



I don't normally pay a lot of attention to the Norwich Union Grand Prix. I haven't followed the event closely since Lars Axegolf was disqualified in 1978 for stuffing two shot-puts down the front of his shorts and telling people he had elephantitis and deserved a head-start in the 400 meter sprint. I could never get over the scandal.

But the issue of disability in sports has again come to the forefront in the Norwich Union Grand Prix. A South-African sprinter, a man by the name of Oscar Pistorius, has gotten permission to run the 400m. Track and field really isn't my thing, so normally, I wouldn't have taken notice ... but Oscar Pistorius doesn't really have legs. That makes his presence in a sprint somewhat unique, yes?

(Also at the bottom: We're going to be seeing a lot of Dane Cook, Eric Brynes' bulldog couldn't get away in time, and South Koreans really suck at football.)

South African Oscar Pistorius is the best runner in the world...who happens to not have legs.

Pistorius was born without legs below the knee, and runs with the assistance of bladed prostheses called "Cheetahs." He's engaged in a campaign to compete in the Olympics, which the International Amateur Athletic Federation has already banned him from once citing the potential for an unfair advantage from his artificial limbs. (The IAAF has reversed that decision, pending tests to see if Pistorius has any advantage at all due to the "Cheetahs.")

The latest episode in his fascinating story: Pistorius will compete in the Norwich Sheffield Grand Prix on July 15th. It is the first race for Pistorius after the IAAF green-lighted his racing against the regular field of sprinters, and he is particularly excited about facing off against Jeremy Wariner, who is best remembered as the "Holy Crap What Is A White Guy Doing Winning A Sprint Event" guy from the Sydney games.

"With the likes of Jeremy Wariner in the field I couldn't ask for a stronger test, but these are the sort of challenges I want," said Pistorius, 20.

Pistorius isn't tilting at windmills here--having set the world records for paralympic athletes in the 100, 200, and 400m distances, he competed last month in the South African national championships and placed second in a field of fully-able athletes. There's nowhere else left for him to compete.

Oscar Pistorius, the South African sprinter who runs with the assistance of artificial legs, has been denied an opportunity to compete in Olympic trials. Pistorius had his legs amputated just below the knee shortly after birth, and runs with the assistance of devices called "Cheetah Flex Feet," artificial legs that the International Association of Athletics Federation ruled would be an artificial aid in his sprinting.

See some of Pistorius' work against other Paralympic athletes below, and know that if you're wondering if you can run this fast, the answer is no.



The guy who laughs at the Paralympic fall? Going straight to hell. Do not pass go, don't even think about asking for two hundred dollars. Hard to argue with the point here--if Pistorius were allowed to compete (and he has posted "competitive" times in races in South Africa) his admission would open up a glorious new era of Olympic athleticism: athletes severing limbs to install spring-loaded legs for the pole vault and long jump, grafting steel to their bones to ensure first punch knockouts in boxing, and finally getting an opportunity to implant a third lung for those particularly grueling triathlons.

On second thought, here...maybe Americans would actually watch the Olympics if this happened. After all, baseball enjoyed a boom in its popularity after steroids were de facto legalized in the sport. Cyborg athletes would just be the next logical step, no? Barry Bonds already practically qualifies as one, and he's about to be a national hero, pesky Federal drug laws be damned.