Your comprehensive guide to every sport you should be watching, but likely won't, follows:
- Skeet! And more skeet! Clumsy thieves of the world, pick somewhere else to be other than Gaj-Maribor, Slovenia, site of the ISSF World Shotgun Shooting Championships. Clay pigeons to die by the truckload, unless they decide to make things particularly easy by using larger targets. Like, say... cars.
- Archery--not just for the RenFair and survivalist types. Geena Davis did it, too, and she was really smoking hot for a hot minute in 1991. The 3rd World 3D Archery Championships are going on in Hungary as we speak, and if the words "3rd World Archery" don't interest you, then your sense of humor isn't arch (pun intended) enough for our taste. The "3D" refers to the three dimensional targets used in competition, which offers up an entirely awesome array of possibilities for theraputic release through sport. We'd fire arrows into a Bobby Bowden dummy with glee.
- The Southern Hemisphere has flipped the script on Northern Hemisphere rugby teams, causing a serious imbalance of power in international rugby, according to the International Rugby Board. Somehow we have no problem with this--does this make us a traitor to our hemisphere? We weren't aware any loyalty was required here.
- Americans are lagging in international sports, according to Billy Jean King. Average American responds by suggesting that the rest of the world learn to play football, wrestle, and drive stock cars like real men.
- Finally...international vomiteers of the world unite this weekend for the Vancouver leg of the BG World Cup Triathlon. Remember that when your body runs out of salt, triathletes, you curl up like a bug and die. You think we're joking--triathletes have been known to run until their bodies nearly run out of salt, causing them to seize and collapse on the course mid-race. Have fun! We'll be in Vegas, gambling and replenishing any alcohol we might have lost with the exertion of hard wagering.
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