Jason Bay. Yesterday. These things rhyme, of course, but just because two things rhyme doesn't mean one of those things should be adapted into the other. For example, the above song -- which uses The Beatles' classic "Yesterday" as the background music for an ode to Jason Bay -- is not something I would recommend imitating. Your version is sure to fall short of the original, naturally, but even worse is that you'd never replicate the above brilliance in a million years. A thousand monkeys playing harpy electronic keyboards for a thousand years couldn't make it happen, I'm afraid.

As Walk Off Walk says, it's positively angelic. Also: kind of sad.

"Obviously, it hurts," Doumit said. "I don't even know what to say. It couldn't have come at a worse time. I'm tired of the cliches, about how things happen or things are going to get better. I'm tired of it all. It's frustrating."

The reason the Pirates released pitching prospect Olivo Astacio, two sources confirmed yesterday, was that he attacked another player with a bat earlier in the week during extended spring training in Bradenton, Fla.

Astacio and the other player were having an argument, the sources said, and Astacio struck the player's leg with a swing of his bat. He swung again and missed before the incident was broken up.

First off, the other player isn't hurt. Secondly, this is apparently not the first time Astacio's been in some serious disciplinary trouble. Third, who uses a bat? That's like asking for authorities to get involved. Finally, I love that the Pirates' organizational policy apparently provides for the situation that one play may try to club another with a bat. They can't build a winning baseball team, but they are definitely ready to handle all types of bat-related assault.

"It's been kind of a whirlwind morning,'' manager John Russell said. "Matt Morris has been a true professional. He's had a great career. He wanted to help us win, and it just wasn't happening."