At least, that's what one Cal fan thought when word leaked out that college football's confused Pinocchio had committed to their school.

Too bad several coaches went on the record claiming he wasn't even a D-I talent. I don't mean to berate the kid here, I'm simply using coaches' evaluations to contrast with how excitable fans can get a commit that nobody had heard of and say things like:

*Kaboom!*

And:

Yes I have seem him play. He's pretty good. Has college size, good skills. Good addition for Cal.

And:

Sounds like a great young man with D1 size and attitude! Players from the rural areas don't get the stars from the recruiting services, but the right ones sure can play......hello Ryan O'Callahan, who'll be playing on Super Bowl Sunday.

Puuuuuuuuuuuuure fiction.

Refresher: a high school football recruit out of Nevada named Kevin Hart made a commitment to California several days ago. Problem was, Cal hadn't recruited him. Neither had any other schools. That prompted an investigation and the involvement of law enforcement.

The story soon centered around a mysterious recruiter who allegedly duped the poor high school senior.

Turns out we were all duped. SportsByBrooks is reporting (via the Reno Gazette-Journal) that Kevin Hart has admitted making it all up.

"I wanted to play D-I ball more than anything. When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I made up what I wanted to be reality. I am sorry for disappointing and embarrassing my family, coaches, Fernley High School, the involved universities and reporters covering the story."

Now the school district "continues to conduct its internal investigation into how so many people were duped by the high school senior."

I betcha that'll look good on his transcripts.

Previously at FanHouse
Football Recruit Commits to Cal, Law Enforcement Gets Involved

We're confused

You really need to read the entire article, but the story boils down to as follows:

An offensive lineman from Nevada named Kevin Hart committed to California Friday, staging a big announcing ceremony in front of his entire high school. Problem is, Cal apparently hasn't offered the kid or even contacted him.

"The Cal staff has had no contact whatsoever with Coach Hodges or Hart, and that they have not visited him; nor has Hart been on a recruiting trip to any school," recruiting Web site rivals.com reported.

Now, law enforcement is involved (fraud, we presume?) in investigating what happened. Further muddying the waters, Hart claims to have visited Oklahoma State, even though Rivals.com says he has yet to make an official visit anywhere. Hart also claims to have spoken extensively with Cal's coach Jeff Tedford, another of his handful of claims in dispute.

Looks like either the kid's got an active imagination or someone took him for a ride.

The Nevada Interscholastic Athletics Association is looking into the matter as well, and executive director Eddie Bonine told the Gazette-Journal, "It could be that someone was impersonating those schools."

Unfortunately things remain unclear because law enforcement isn't talking, the NCAA prohibits schools from speaking about recruits and his coach can only elaborate so much on what happened.

(H/T: EDSBS)

Picture the scene... you're sitting around your house on a Saturday morning and your girlfriend calls you and asks if you want to have brunch with her family. Normally, you'd be fairly amenable to free silver dollar pancakes, even if it means enduring some awkward conversation, but today is not a normal day. It's the high-school all-star game. Sorry, tootsie, but home boy has a date with Tom Lemming today, and no amount of waffles or eggs Benedict can interrupt.

If any of this made sense to you, congratulations, you're a junkie.

Just to remind you all, this game is sponsored by the U.S. army, so the over/under on lame Army commercials is like a million.

A lot of these blue-chippers will be announcing their college choices. When that happens, I'll put the contents in bold face, so you can skip over my pithy commentary and get right to the commitments, if that's your thing.

Remember Nate Longshore? The junior Cal quarterback. He beat Tennessee earlier this year. Started all last year. Rumor has it he's a pretty good football player.

Well . . . He's done.

This is nothing official, mind you, but I think it's over for him. Cal melted down late in the year and was staring at a 21-0 second quarter deficit against Air Force earlier today. Longshore then went to the bench and in a little over two quarters of work his backup Kevin Riley rallied the team to a 28-27 lead.

This is the same backup who was scintillating against Oregon State in another start earlier in the year (nevermind that boneheaded last play, if possible). Cal just seems to play better behind him and he's rescued them from a colossal embarrassment in a big way.

Final score today: Cal 42 - Air Force 36

Riley's line: 16/19 (.842), 269 yards, 3 TD/ 0 INT

That's twice now California's offense has played well behind Riley following shaky Longshore performances. Longshore's got a nice bond going with his head coach, but his backup makes it happen better on the field.

Were it not for all the other wackiness in College Football this season, the collapses of California and Oregon Football would be among this year's major story lines. As both teams were poised to take over the number-one ranking in the country, their quarterbacks suffered injuries which sent their seasons on a downward spiral.

Oregon infamously refused to disclose the status of Dennis Dixon's knee during the bye week between games against Arizona State and Arizona, only to have their national championship hopes dislocated against the Wildcats.

But hiding a quarterback injury wasn't exclusive to the Ducks. California quarterback Nate Longshore played the nearly the whole season with a chipped bone in his ankle--hobbling him ever since the Bears beat the Ducks. Bears coach Jeff Tedford admitted yesterday, "There's a little chip in the back part of it there. I didn't get that it was a broken ankle. But Nate had talked to me about a little chip that was in the back there."

scha·den·freu·de /ˈʃɑdnˌfrɔɪdə/

–noun

satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.

---

[Origin: 1890–95; < G, equiv. to Schaden harm + Freude joy]

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

On This Week In Schadenfreude we explore the sputtering rage, gibbering condemnation, and resigned ennui of the college football fan who has recently undergone humiliating defeat. Because even in your darkest hour, someone else is suffering too, and probably worse than you. Unless you are a Michigan fan who has just finished watching the Appalachian State game.

Ohio State, for blowing a national championship shot, you are the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness victor this week. Tressel remains a god to Buckeye fans, but some issues crop up when you yield an eight-minute game-killing drive:


More of the week in spleen after the jump.

Although it is considered by many to be the second-toughest conference in College Football, the Pac Ten looks like it will not fill all of its bowl allotments in 2007.

The Pac Ten has arrangements this year with the Rose, Holiday, Sun, Las Vegas, Emerald and Armed Forces Bowls. That is six bowls before you consider that either Arizona State or USC will likely get a BCS at-large invitation if either team wins its final two games.

Five Pac-Ten teams are already bowl-eligible: Oregon, ASU, USC, California and Oregon State--but coming up with a sixth--or even seventh--will be much more difficult.

In what had to be one of the slipperiest, most miserablest evenings of football in California memory, the USC Trojans turned to the run game to defeat the California Golden Bears in Strawberry Canyon, 24-17.

When USC receivers were dropping the slippery balls during practice, you'd have thought that Trojan offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian would have come up with a mostly-running game-plan.

After a back and forth game, USC had several chances to send their fans back to the warmth and dryness of their San Francisco hotels in the third quarter but sloppy play and an insistence on trying to pass the ball left the Beard handing around until the fourth quarter.

It took three quarters of solid running by Chauncey Washington before the Trojan coaching staff decided they should just hand the ball off.And hand the ball off, they did, giving it to Chauncey Washington 29 times for 221 yards, while quarterback John David Booty threw but 20 times for a mere 129 yards.

Maybe.

UC officials can remove all the tree-sitters at Memorial Stadium, even if they can't identify the protesters by name, a judge said today in a tentative ruling.

Alameda County Superior Court Judge Richard Keller's ruling, which is expected to be made final after a court hearing this afternoon, amends his order a month ago that gave UC police the authority to remove only tree-sitters who were identified by name.

Amazingly, this is only one hurdle to be overcome for Cal as they try to build new athletic facilities and relocate their football stadium which currently lies on a fault line.

The protesters have been perched in part of an oak grove next to the stadium since December in an attempt to block the university's plan to cut down about two-thirds of the grove to build a $125 million athletic training center.

Another Alameda County Superior Court judge is expected within the next few weeks to rule whether plans for the training center can proceed.

Good riddance. Hopefully Cal gets everything they want and those squatters disappear. Unfortunately the Bears' football team has gone south, apparently timed with their recent legal maneuverings:

Cal was undefeated before The Man started seriously messing with the tree-sitters. Now they have lost 3 in a row. Way to go The Man. You all should have listtened to me and not messed with the tree-football mojo.

When in doubt, blame The Man. Sigh.