FanHouse is counting down the ten best, ten worst, and ten weirdest moments in the history of Big Ten football.

Above: Rick Neuheisel (right) and Troy Aikman in Neuheisel's first coaching stint at UCLA.

Not many people remember it, but for a few years in the early 1980s, the Big Ten played a full round-robin schedule, as opposed to the current "skip the same two teams for two years in a row" format that has been in place since Penn State joined the conference. During that brief period, one team actually managed to defeat all nine of its conference opponents: Mike White's Fighting Illini, in the 1983 season. The Angry Indigenous Woodlands People dropped their first game to Missouri, then ran off ten straight wins, entering the Granddaddy of Them All 10-1 and ranked fourth in the nation.

And on the other side of the field? Terry Donahue's UCLA Bruins, a team so dazzlingly awesome they went 0-3 in their non-conference games. The doddering Bruins won the Pac-10 almost by default that season; they were 6-1-1 in conference play (ties were still allowed back then), and 6-4-1 overall. (Can you imagine the outcry today if a six-win team got a BCS berth?)

So, obviously, there was no hope for the Bruins. You'll note, however, that this game wound up on the Big Ten's "worst moments," and of course there's a reason for that.

Last year, the University of California at Los Angeles went through four starting quarterbacks in a season which failed to meet expectations. New head coach Rick Neuheisel and offensive coordinator Norm Chow had hoped to turn the tide and avoid any quarterback controversy, naming Pat Cowan the starter in Spring Practice.

But just days after fifth-stringer Osaar Rashaan declared that he would start again as UCLA quarterback, he moved up to number three on the depth chart when Cowan and Ben Olson were carted off the field with injuries. Cowan, the erstwhile starter, will miss the 2008 season; Olson must recover from yet another surgery.

Things have gotten so bad that UCLA's coaches are now asking recruit Kevin Prince to leave school early in order to provide depth at the position. But Prince is still recovering from reconstructive knee surgery himself, so don't expect this high schooler to be a lucky charm to avoid injuries at the position!

But if things look glum in Westwood, Bruin fans can take consolation that they did not lose seven first- and second-round players to the NFL Draft!

Pat Cowan has actually never been photographed upright. He's always hurt.

We're not sure how Rick Neuheisel envisioned his new team's first season, but it's safe to assume that his ideas all included a decent quarterback at the helm. That, as it turns out, may prove to be presumptuous. The football gods were cruelly rapacious on Thursday, as two Bruins quarterbacks suffered significant injuries.

First, starter Pat Cowan went down with a likely severe knee injury. The to-be-senior had to be carted off, and offensive coordinator Norm Chow thinks he's toast. When asked if he expected the worst, Chow responded, "Oh, yeah....The way he went down. We've got to wait it out. I'm just telling you my opinion."

"How sure am I that he's done for the year? Well, molten lava came out of his knee after he hurt it, then a sword impaled him," Chow added.*

On the very next play, senior (citizen) playcaller Ben Olsen planted awkwardly and broke a bone in his foot. And lava came out of that too.**

Olsen should be healthy in plenty of time for the season, but UCLA was down to three quarterbacks for last night's spring game. Only converted wideout Osaar Rasshan has thrown a pass in NCAA play thus far (an underwhelming 17-of-45 last season), so it's safe to assume that the Bruins are eagerly anticipating Olsen's recovery.

A word of warning to Neuheisel: Olsen and Cowan both suffered through health problems last season as well, and the resulting 6-6 season was enough to get Karl Dorrell fired. We're not saying UCLA's itching for another firing this soon, but we are suggesting that the sooner you put Cowan and Olsen on a rocketship and send them into deep space, the sooner you can start building your franchise around a quarterback who won't splinter into a thousand pieces every time the wind blows.

*technically, Chow didn't say any of that, but it'd be great if he did.
**again, technically false, but a boy can dream.

Not a good start as the supposedly cleaned-up coach rebuilds UCLA. From the Daily News' Brian Dohn:

UCLA's football practice is over, long before it was supposed as the players decided to use a long-time tradition and blow off practice after stretching by going over the wall. That said, the players ran through an open gate rather than climb over the wall at Spaulding Field.

UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel knows of the tradition, but basically said it was an odd time for it considering UCLA is installing a new offense and the offensive line needs loads of work.

Also, a number of high school coaches and recruits showed up for the practice, not to mention some referees. The assistant coaches were mostly stunned after Neuheisel visited with the players, then came back on the field to say practice was done.

In one swift act, Neuheisel willingly undermined himself before his players, his coaches and the lifeblood of any program: recruits. Nice work.

Oh, and that's just about the most pathetic school tradition I've ever heard of. The NCAA limits the hours and number of practices schools can arrange, so for UCLA to be wasting a practice like that is troubling.

(Via: WildWest)

For years there has been talk of USC and UCLA returning to tradition and wearing contrasting uniforms at their rivalry game. Problem is, NCAA rules prohibit this practice and require that the offending team be docked a timeout.

It's a stupid rule, but to date the schools have obliged. It doesn't help that relations grew tense in the last year or two between the programs. Enter Rick Neuheisel.

In theory, the hyper-competitive Neuheisel should further the divide between the programs, but he and USC coach Pete Carroll at least publicly seem to respect each other. So much so, in fact, that next year may be an "Nixon visits China" moment in relations between the programs.

USC and UCLA are very close to announcing a novel idea to heat up their rivalry. Both teams will wear their home colors this season at UCLA's home game Dec. 6 in the Rose Bowl.

That means USC will wear maroon. The plan is for the Trojans to be penalized a timeout when they take the field in their homies. UCLA, then, at its first opportunity will call a timeout to even things up. Pete Carroll apparently has signed off on the p.r. strategy. What a way to ramp up the Trojans-Bruins rivalry.

You know what's next? Full diplomatic relations (yeh right!). Until anything happens this is all just talk and cutesy "Americans playing ping pong in China" type ice-breakers floated before the public. Hopefully it happens.

Previously at FanHouse
It's Time to Let USC and UCLA Party Like It's 1969

Few things in life are as heartwarming as a lifelong bond between father and son. Playing catch in the backyard. Going fishing. Hell, getting a little homework help. But then young men eventually grow up and gain independence and make decisions that take them away from their fathers.

Nowhere is that more public than in the recruiting game. Many times a player will stick with his father (see Luke Bellotti playing at Oregon for his father Mike Bellotti or quarterback Cody Hawkins heading to Colorado to play for his old man). But while blood may be thicker than water, sometimes blood doesn't have the pull it should.

Last year, Georgia coach Mark Richt's son Jon Richt pledged to play quarterback for Clemson over his fathers' Dawgs. No doubt a tough decision for a closeknit family like that. The separation continues this year as it is rumored UCLA defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker's son Kevan, a receiver prospect, will not stick with dear old dad at UCLA but instead play for the Oregon State Beavers.

The upshot to all of this is that while recruiting is a competitive, sometimes nasty business, coaches recruiting a fellow coaches' son must tone down his pitch which can only help but improve relations between coaches.

Is the UCLA cheerleader sad that he's leaving? Or perplexed at the whole grown man swings incredibly long towel around his head thing? You decide.

UCLA's goofy sideline towel-waver guy is retiring. So sad.

Long-time UCLA assistant coach and current assistant director of academic services Ed Kezirian is retiring. He was a 13-year assistant coach under Terry Donahue, and served as the interim coach for the Bruins in the 2002 Las Vegas Bowl after coach Bob Toledo was fired.

To be fair, Kezirian was well-regarded in his administrative post. Plus, he owns the highest win percentage among UCLA head coaches (look it up!). And he does wave that towel really well. So he's got that going for him.

But it's like that scene from The Office where one-time temporary worker Ryan worries about being "that guy" -- crossword puzzle guy, crazy cat owner guy, etc. -- then ends up setting a small fire and becomes "fire guy". Ed Kezirian is one such guy, Towel Waver Guy.

Norm Chow is returning to the friendly confines of college football, taking the offensive coordinator position at UCLA.

Memo to USC: not good. Bruins coach Rick Neuheisel is a ticking time bomb, but he's basically assembled one of the finest coaching staffs in college football with Chow and defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker. Both are former assistants at USC under Pete Carroll.

UCLA football history is a mixed bag, so it's hard to tell where this 3-headed coaching monster can take them. But, well ... the sky really is the limit. Chow is the greatest offensive coordinator in college football history and Walker turned around a defense with a decade-long streak of woe. He then went about putting together what will be a top 10 recruiting class, stealing several prominent Los Angeles-area recruits out from under USC's nose. Throw in a man who can nearly match Pete Carroll when it comes to energy and enthusiasm in Neuheisel and the pieces are there to make something good.

UCLA's combination of hires should return the team to some form of sustained prominence and revitalize the rivalry with the cross-town rivals. Who knows, maybe they'll even think about bringing back the contrasting uniforms?

Sort of. Not really. Maybe. Read on.

The freshly hired UCLA coach is making the rounds, appearing on radio and television broadcasts wherever he can get attention. Cool. He's also making lots and lots of pre-recorded phone calls. Perhaps not so cool.

"Rrrriiiinggg . . . Rrrriiiinnnggg . . . Hello? [Pause] Who is it? Hi, I'm Rick Neuheisel . . . "

Most of the calls connect to UCLA fans, alums and ticket-holders. But not all of them which makes this interesting. Amusingly, a Georgia fan with no connection to UCLA also got the call and posted the message's audio for your listening enjoyment here.

It's basically a nice pitch about the greatness of UCLA the institution and UCLA the athletic department. At the very end there's a plea to buy season tickets and otherwise is an introduction to the new Bruin coach.

Harmless enough, but it's worth noting that if people with no connection to UCLA are getting the call, others might inadvertently be left with a message as well. Maybe people like hmmm . . . recruits? I don't think there's any funny business going on here, but you never know with Neuheisel and his track record of finding the gray areas when it comes to NCAA recruiting rules and regulations.

News like this makes me so very happy Rick Neuheisel is back in college football. He adds color to the game and should spice up the USC/UCLA rivalry. At the same time, expect more stories just like this to shadow him for the rest of his tenure at UCLA.

Late in the Meineke Car Care Bowl, the ESPN play calling crew said that the AP is reported that Rick Neuheisel was named the UCLA football head coach. Sure enough, that is now showing up as a "breaking news" headline.

The former Colorado and Washington head coach played QB at UCLA from 1979 to 1983.

Earlier today, it was reported that UCLA was expanding the coaching search -- yet again.

UPDATE: Here's the UCLA Athletic Department press release.

"Rick has enjoyed great success throughout his career and we believe he is the coach who can take our program to the next level," said Guerrero. "His teams at Colorado and Washington continually challenged for conference championships and national rankings and that is what we are looking to do at UCLA.

"Rick is an outstanding coach and recruiter. He is outgoing and personable and can motivate our players, fans and supporters. We believe he is well equipped to lead the program and attain the success all Bruin fans wish to achieve."

"I know there are some issues in Rick's past that concern our constituency. We have discussed those at length with Rick and have investigated those issues with the NCAA. It has been at least five years and, in some cases, more than 10 years since the incidents occurred. We believe Rick has learned from those incidents and that he is more mature and experienced in the areas of compliance."

Probably smart to acknowledge out of the gate Neuheisel's well-questioned ethical and NCAA compliance issues,