Posts tagged BobbyPetrino at FanHouse

Prop Bets for the College Football Junkie is a weekly post that cares not for your silly point spreads. If you have the money and the gumption, we'll lay down a weekly gauntlet of propositions that'll take you from the penthouse to the outhouse faster than you can guess the number of times Lee Corso will say "not so fast my friend." As always, this is for entertainment purposes only.

$ The Red River Shootout between Oklahoma and Texas is one of the biggest rivalry games in college football. You need to wear a cup when you go to this game or suffer the consequences. Given that, we put the over/under on battery arrests at 50. And just for fun, we give you a straight up bet on if anyone's scrotum gets nicked.

$ When Clemson travels to Wake Forest Thursday night, Tommy Bowden's job might just be on the line. Not that he would be fired Friday, but anything less than an appearance in the ACC championship game will be considered a disappointment. Naturally we give you a straight up bet that Tommy's mom, not Bobby, will call in to Dr. Lou to ask how she can save her son's job. Bonus straight bet that Dr. Lou will respond with some form of, "does he realize he has two of the best running backs in the country?"

$ Speaking of bad blood, LSU at Florida probably won't be a game where the word sportsmanship is uttered by the announcers except if preceeded by the word "bad." Last year, Tim Tebow pretended to dial on his cell phone after he scored a touchdown, mocking the LSU students that got ahold of his cell number. With LSU linemen trying to take out a Heisman winner, we put the over/under on how many times Tebow does the Heisman pose at five.

Prop Bets for the College Football Junkie is a weekly post that cares not for your silly point spreads. If you have the money and the gumption, we'll lay down a weekly gauntlet of propositions that'll take you from the penthouse to the outhouse faster than you can guess the number of times Lee Corso will say "not so fast my friend." As always, this is for entertainment purposes only.

-When Penn State travels to Purdue, the combined age of the coaches will involve a lot of zeros and one of those to the power of 10 thingies. This poses a serious problem for the sideline reporter, because older people can't hear so good. Given that, we put the number of times the two coaches will say, "huh?" at +/-10 during their halftime interviews. Also, we'll give a straight up bet on if either says, "you know, women didn't dress like that in my day."

-Auburn visits Vanderbilt this weekend, and the College GameDay crew will be there. Vanderbilt is considered the "smart" school in the SEC. So, we'll put the over/under on the number of signs with a series of ones and zeros followed by "LOLZ!!!" at 10.

-Speaking of smart schools, Duke faces Georgia Tech this weekend. Pocket protectors will be out in force! Georgia Tech is averaging about 46,000 fans at home games, so naturally we put the number of pocket protectors at +/-45,999. Hey, some engineers still do it with a slide ruler.

We're nearing the end of Day 1: Life After Millen, and by most accounts, it's been a joyous occasion. Now begins the arduous process of rebuilding the Lions, no easy task given what hell Matt Millen hath wrought on this franchise in just eight years.

During tonight's NFL Total Access, Rich Eisen got current NFL Network analyst and former Lions head coach Steve Mariucci on the horn to talk about what it meant to work for the worst general manager in the history of sports. (Click Millen's handsome mug for the moving pictures.)

Some highlights after the jump.

Prop Bets for the College Football Junkie is a weekly post that cares not for your silly point spreads. If you have the money and the gumption, we'll lay down a weekly gauntlet of propositions that'll take you from the penthouse to the outhouse faster than you can guess the number of times Lee Corso will say "not so fast my friend." As always, this is for entertainment purposes only.

-Back in the good old days of eastern football, before the Big East, Joe Paterno used to wear us out with ramblings about a winless Temple team that was much better than their record indicated. Naturally, Penn State would win by 50+. But as we care not for point spreads or actual outcomes, we'll look at something more intriguing. Like the over/under on the number of times the off field incidents at Penn State will be brought up by the announcing crew. Given that this game could get out of hand quickly, we'll put that number at +/-10. Just as a way to make your money back, I'll give you a straight up prop on if Joe will make an impromptu run to the bathroom while the game is going on.

-Literally a half hour after I wrote this post I was out and helped a person move their broken down diesel truck out of an intersection. I only had to push it about 20 feet, but was completely out of breath by the time it was safely out of the intersection. Given West Virginia's total lack of respect for the effects of the change in altitude, I'm putting the over/under on the number of Mountaineers that pass out during the game at 15.

The Petulant Graduate looks at worst aspects of college football from a post-educational, snarky attitude. Really, it's just an excuse to use "petulant".

The PG is late this week because the graduate in question was stupid enough to become said graduate and end up in a situation that might at some point require working on the weekends. Thus, he was unable to watch ECU demolish West Virginia or NCSU squeak by Bill and Mary. But Florida - Miami? Hoo boy!

1. The Celebration Penalty
I don't even have to say anything about "Washington and BYU" -- the phrase above makes it pretty clear. I'm not sure what can be said that hasn't been said already, but I thought Grummell phrase, "raw emotion and boundless energy of the players and coaches", re: the college game summed up the stupidity of such a rule pretty well. Regardless of whether or not the actual celebration in question was over the top or not, getting penalized in that situation for anything short of throat slash is just ridiculous.

Look, touchdown celebrations have gotten out of hand in recent years, and Chad Ocho Cinco and Terrell Owens becoming more famous as a result hasn't exactly helped matters. But the fact remains that when you score in football, professional or otherwise, you're excited. You don't set the ball down and simply roll along. So grow up, NCAA and get rid of this rule now. Please.

The Falcons unofficially began their descent into awfulness when they fired Jim Mora Jr. following the 2006 season. At the time, it seemed like a perfectly rational move -- Mora had underachieved for two years after making it to the NFC Championship game in 2004 -- but in retrospect, it was the first crack in the proverbial dike.

Puppy murder and Bobby Petrino would follow, and next thing you know the Falcons are 4-12 and have the third-overall pick in the '08 draft. Atlanta would use the pick on Boston College's Matt Ryan, and most of us just assumed he would sit and learn for a year before the new coaching staff threw him to the wolves.

Most us would assume wrong, apparently.

Rookie Matt Ryan will open the regular season as the Falcons' starting quarterback. The decision was made over the weekend and will be announced by coach Mike Smith after today's practice. ...

Clarity arrived after three preseason games in which Ryan, who took the majority of snaps, completed 32-of-52 passes for 277 yards, two touchdowns and an interception. He made his first start Friday against Tennessee and completed 15-of-21 passes for 102 yards and a touchdown.

Ryan has been praised by teammates for his leadership, diligence and huddle presence as well as his ability to make plays.

Matt Ryan got the first start of his professional career last night and proceeded to complete 15 of 21 passes for 102 and one touchdown (no picks!). It was preseason, for sure, but for a group that has endured more in the last 12 months than most of us face in our lifetimes, it's a nice start.

But there were other story lines to come out of the 17-3 victory over Tennessee. Namely: the Falcons are a bunch of dirty players, at least to hear the Titans tell it. Atlanta had nine penalties for 101 yards, and it was one in particular that made second-year safety Michael Griffin very sad.

Titans safety Michael Griffin got called for holding on a first-quarter punt return, and he wound up with his helmet pulled off. He tussled with Daren Stone and had to be restrained. ... Griffin said Stone crossed a line.

"He got my dreads, just pulled my hair," Griffin said. "That got me fired up, pulling my hair, man. My helmet got knocked off and then he grabbed my hair. That's really all there was to it. Hair is fair game, my helmet was off, we got into a little pushing and shoving and pulling match and he pulled my hair.

It gets better: "When it comes to that, somebody pulling your hair? Not cool. That's disrespect you know? I'm not going to pull on your hair. You've got a problem, don't pull on my hair. Girls pull on hair."

Got that, Daren, GIRLS PULL HAIR. Well, girls and Larry Johnson.

Whatever, if this is the new-and-improved Falcons, great. Anything to help erase the memories of the Bobby Petrino Era.

As FanHouse previews each BCS conference, the college football songbook will cast an unflattering light on each conference in the only way we know how. Next up the SEC.




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Photo Credits:

*Super special thanks to Losers With Socks for the use of their photoshop brilliance. *

Big thanks to Georgia Sports Blog as well

Every Day Should Be Saturday

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As hierarchical as I-A college football is (indeed, much more so than any other American sport), nowhere is the caste system writ larger than in the SEC, where the good stay good, the bad stay bad, and Phil Fulmer stays comically overweight. Were EPL-style relegation ever to be implemented, you may rest assured that no more than two SEC programs would ever be in danger, and we're lucky enough to meet them both again today (plus a few new friends!).

After the jump, the four teams without a prayer of going .500 in the SEC in 2008...

Jimmy Williams has come a long way since the Falcons selected him in the second-round of the 2006 draft. And by "a long way" I mean "man, he really hit rock bottom in a hurry."

Considered a first-round talent by many evaluators, Williams' lackadaisical approach to practice and attitude concerns saw him drop on draft day. Once Bobby Petrino bolted back to college, new head coach Mike Smith had time to evaluate the roster, and Williams showed up to minicamp in all his chub-tastic glory, his fate was basically sealed.

The Falcons released him on June 17, and he has yet to catch on with another club. And the likelihood of that happening just decreased (if that's possible).

Jimmy Williams, a free agent, has been suspended by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for the first five games of the season, Williams' agent, Ethan Lock confirmed Monday. When asked about Williams' future, Lock said he had no further comment.

So there you have it: Goodell has slapped Williams with a five-game ban for unspecified reasons. Seems sorta like overkill to suspend a guy currently unemployed, but assuming another team takes a flier on Williams, he'll still have to sit out five games, even if he's not signed until Week 10 of the regular season.

Remember when Falcons owner Arthur Blank hoped to build the team around a core group of Virginia Tech players? Good times.