Posts tagged JoeyPorter at FanHouse

As your mother or baseball coach or mental therapist once told you, there is a time and a place for everything in this world. When your only win is against the Cincinnati Bengals and your team looks about as tough as a clown at a biker convention, this is not your time.

Browns defensive lineman Corey Williams obviously didn't get the memo, spouting off all sorts of nonsense and ignorance about the Giants and how they are going to put them in their place.

Two weeks ago, heading into Miami's game at New England, linebacker Joey Porter put himself in the news as only he can by guaranteeing a win and dragging Matt Cassel through the mud. We all had a good laugh over it, then were completely dumbfounded when the Dolphins not only won the game, but Porter caused havoc in the New England backfield by registering three sacks, completely backing up his talk.

Turns out, he was even more dominant than we originally thought, as he was just credited with a fourth sack in the game, 11 days later.

Porter picked up a fourth sack against the Patriots because a review of the game determined that Porter had another sack early in the fourth quarter, when he stripped Cassel of the ball as he scrambled from the pocket. Cassel originally was credited with a 1-yard run, but the Elias Sports Bureau concluded Porter forced the ball loose before Cassel reached the line of scrimmage, giving Porter a sack for no yards.

I can just see Porter, after hearing the news, jumping up in his living room and doing his trademark boot, screaming about how he just made Cassel his "huckleberry," yet again. Porter now has five sacks on the season -- three games -- and is only .5 away from matching his total from 2007.

If you're like me (and by "like me" I mean "a multi-millionaire diehard Republican blogger") then today's little stock market swing was roughly like ending up on a prank show that involved Pauly Shore swinging his shoe in the general direction of your groin.

And what, exactly, are we supposed to do to save the nation and our own personal fortune? Thankfully, Joey Porter has the answer.

"I'm about to go dig a hole in my back yard and put it in my back yard where I can see it," Porter said Monday. "I don't like this stock stuff. I don't like not being able [to rely on] this bond and that bond. Everything's funny. I don't trust nothing."

You and me both, Joey. You and me both. Now Porter does go on to mention that he has a financial adviser (who hopefully won't tell him he's broke) but let's be honest, folks, this is a pretty legitimate sounding solution to what's going on.

I mean, when the market's dropping faster than Porter's post-Pittsburgh career, it's time to start thinking that the $120k you keep in your checking account isn't even safe.

Here's an interesting story; one you might find a little hard to believe. Patriots safety Rodney Harrison, considered by many -- including players, fans and just about everyone who isn't involved with his team -- to be the dirtiest player in the NFL, is complaining because somebody might have played dirty against his team on Sunday. Seriously. This is so crazy, so out there, and so ridiculously unbelievable that it just has to be true. And it is. Honestly, you can't make this stuff up.

From Ethan J. Skolnick of the Sun Sentinel (via MDS at PFT):

Harrison was angry about the first play of the fourth quarter, when Ronnie Brown sprinted 62 yards with a direct snap. The officials called Williams for a dead-ball personal foul for chop-blocking Patriots linebacker Mike Vrabel, an infraction offset by Vrabel's unnecessary roughness penalty. Was Williams' block dirty? "Of course it was," Harrison said. "Of course it was. There's no place in the game for that."

This is great, and it comes on the same day -- from the same game! -- where Joey Porter was complaining about somebody disrupting his pregame routine. What's next? Bill Belichick complaining about somebody cheating against him?

It's no secret that Miami linebacker Joey Porter can tend to be a little, uh, crazy. And it's no secret his pregame antics can be a tad annoying for opposing players and fans, whether he's trying to disrupt an opponents kicker, or getting himself ejected before a game in Cleveland by fighting William Green at the 50-yard line.

On Sunday in New England, Porter was again at the center of some pregame shenanigans, only he was the one doing the complaining and feeling as if he were disrespected in some way. According to Dan Dugan of the Boston-Herald, while the Dolphins were going through their stretches, the Patriots kickers and coaches walked through the Miami line of players as punter Chris Hanson started booming kicks out of the end zone. Naturally, Porter wasn't amused.

"I've been playing in the league for 10 years and I feel like I've done some crazy things, but I never did that," Porter said. "You can't walk right down the middle of somebody's stretch and start kicking out of the end zone like we're not even here, like they had the whole 100 yards. They just didn't want their 50, they wanted our 50, too."

The New England Patriots entered Sunday's game having not lost a regular season game since December 10, 2006, a 21-0 loss at the hands of ... the Miami Dolphins. Since that loss, the Patriots went on a run of 21 consecutive regular season wins, dominating just about every team they came in contact with.

By comparison, since that game all the way back in 2006, the Dolphins had gone 1-20. Talk about your polar opposites. Of course, that's what made it hilarious when Miami linebacker Joey Porter had the stones to come out this week and tell the world it wouldn't be all that difficult to prepare for Matt Cassel, and that it "would be nice to get our first win."

Laughter followed from pretty much everyone -- including yours truly -- but nobody is laughing now, except maybe Porter and Ronnie Brown. This game was never even close, and Miami did indeed pick up its first win of the season with a 38-13 dismantling of the Patriots at Gillette Stadium.

Earlier this week Dolphins linebacker/trash talker Joey Porter all but guaranteed a win over New England, creating a sea of laughter from all across the National Football League. This seemed like a rather dubious move on his part, considering the Patriots have won 20 consecutive regular season games, while Miami has only won two of its previous 23.

Well, as of right now, Porter doesn't look all that insane, seeing as how the Dolphins are currently pounding New England, 21-6, at the end of the first half.

Porter has a sack, while the Patriots have been held to just a pair of Stephen Gostkowski field goals. Ronnie Brown, meanwhile, has taken his first start of the season and already scored three touchdowns on runs of two, 15 and five yards.

Still a lot of football left to play, but so far Porter and his teammates are backing up Porter's talk.

With attention spans dwindling, we forego full game-by-game previews to give you the essentials you need to know about every contest this glorious NFL weekend. Click here to go back in time

The 1's

Kansas City at Atlanta: It's a game featuring a team with a rookie quarterback taking on a team with no quarterback. Falcons signal-caller Matt Ryan had a dreadful week two, missing on his first nine passes, while the Chiefs are still playing musical chairs with Damon Huard and Tyler Thigpen. Larry Johnson isn't impressed by any of it.

Oakland at Buffalo: The Buffalo Bills haven't started a season 3-0 since 1992, and that's exactly what they'll do if they can defeat an Oakland team that has spent this week worrying about who its coach will be, as opposed to the task at hand in Buffalo. If the Bills get that 3-0 start, there's a strong chance Raiders' head coach Lane Kiffin will be searching for a new job on Monday morning. Seeing as how they're likely without Justin Fargas, Darren McFadden is fighting some turf toe and Javon Walker can't make it through practice, there's a good chance that happens.

It's good to see Joey Porter hasn't lost his ability to smack-talk opponents. Actually, at this point, I think it's the only ability he hasn't lost. Probably because that's the one aspect of his game that doesn't have to worry about being blocked one-on-one by running backs and tight ends.

Either way, this week Porter has chosen Patriots quarterback Matt Cassel as his target (or as he calls it, his "huckleberry"), and I suppose that's a step up from the kickers and punters he was going after the first two weeks of the season.

Of course, I think it would be far more entertaining for all of us if he chose a guy that might actually respond. Someone like Rodney Harrison or Randy Moss, but, whatever. On to the smack.

"it'll be good to go out and get our first victory. I just know [Cassel] is not a Tom Brady,'' said Porter, when asked how difficult it will be to prepare for a quarterback he has never seen.

"If it's not Tom Brady, it shouldn't be that hard. . . . They won last week, but it's not like they were putting up the crazy 40 points they were when they had Tom.

"So, it's a different offense, it's a different team without Tom there. I don't care what anybody says. It's not the same team without Brady.''

Joey Porter is known for flapping his gums. He used to be known for his ability to get to the quarterback, but after the Steelers released him after the 2006 season, he's basically been relegated to on-field cheerleading duty (which, for $32 million, isn't a bad gig).

Whatever his role, Porter knows better than most that fans can be brutal. He understands how things work since, you know, he's usually instigating some verbal confrontation. But in the wake of the Vince Young weirdness, J. Peezy tells the Miami Herald that "you hear some of the worst things" from angry fans.

This one might have topped them all. Two months after [Porter was shot in the butt], which occurred outside a Denver bar when Porter was with the Pittsburgh Steelers, he was preparing to play the Seahawks in Seattle when an opposing fan approached him.

'The guy says to me, `I wish somebody would have shot you in the back instead!' '' Porter recalled. ``And I'm pretty sure he was serious.''

Porter is a confident person and has been known to dish out harsh comments of his own, so he believes he's very capable of handling any criticisms that come with his high-profile job.