Posts tagged MikeWallace at FanHouse

He'll put you in the wall, wreck your cart at the supermarket, and wreck your motorized boat. And he's easily one of the most-recognized drivers on NASCAR TV right now.

Yes, I'm talking about GEICO's newest pitch man who doesn't pitch the product at all, Lauren Wallace. First, for a video refresher:



I know that Lauren Wallace has made his way into my Top-5 driver list (who couldn't resist cheering for a driver that says "Lauren Wallace is made of lightning!") but unfortunately the Richmond Times-Dispatch has revealed that Lauren is just an actor. Sigh.

From the Times-Dispatch:

The toughest, coolest, most ruthlessly ambitious driver in motorsports was born in Richmond, resides in Chicago, doesn't have a driver's license and is more familiar with the nuances of Hamlet than those of Denny Hamlin.

It was just pointed out to me that I rarely -- if ever -- am overly one-sided on a topic of debate. For the most part, I can see both sides of an argument and discern a considerable amount of logic from each, even if I only truly agree with one point of contention.

But fortheloveofallthatisgoodandholy Roger Clemens has made me think he is incredibly guilty in this whole Mitchell Report mess. After he didn't speak for days, put out a rather odd and rehearsed YouTube video then agreed to do a 60 Minutes interview with uber-fan Mike Wallace, he gives us this from that interview, set to air Sunday:

When asked by Wallace if McNamee had ever injected him with any drugs, Clemens responds: "Lidocaine and B-12. It's for my joints, and B-12 I still take today."

Clemens calls the accusation "ridiculous" and says he "never" used any banned substances.

"Swear?" asks Wallace.

"[I] swear," says Clemens.

OK, Roger. Come on, now. Honestly. If this was truly the case -- which by the way, this was the same excuse Rafael Palmeiro used, we all know how that worked out -- why in the hell would you NOT SAY THIS ON THE DAY THE REPORT CAME OUT. Why would you wait nearly three and a half weeks to state this? It makes no sense. I'm not sure who Clemens' PR adviser is, but they're doing an awful job. (I suspect he does his own PR. This is the only logical conclusion.)

Roger Clemens might have already passed the point of doth protesting too much. Clemens is planning on making an appearance on 60 Minutes with close friend Mike Wallace, and right after that he'll be meeting with reporters. Which is to say nothing of Clemens' new Youtube account and his recently posted video denial of the Mitchell Report's accusations. Now Clemens' lawyers are starting their own, totally unbiased investigation into Brian McNamee's past, presumably in an attempt to discredit Clemens' former trainer in the eyes of the public.

It'd be nice if Clemens would just sort of relax and let things play out, but the man apparently values the appearance of integrity and is willing to do anything keep up appearances. Unfortunately for him, McNamee's lawyers sort of seem better at that than Clemens':

"In the event there's a lawsuit, we've planned for that," Ward, who represents McNamee, told the Daily News. "We think it would be frivolous, but we're planning for that. With regards to the federal investigation, we're confident that (McNamee's) done everything he's legally obligated to do. It's unfortunate that this whole situation had to go down the way it went down. (McNamee) was friends with Roger and I think he hopes Roger understands that he had to tell the truth.

"Brian wants him to know that what he did, he was legally obligated to do. He's got a wife and kids. He's not going to go to jail for Roger Clemens."

In the words of D-Rock Zoolander: Oh, snap! If this turns into an all-out PR war -- which is apparently what Clemens so dearly desires -- consider this first salvo a win for the McNamee camp. This is going to be fun.

Baseball on TBS isn't over forever -- after all, they have a solid slate of playoff games coming up this week -- but Braves regular-season broadcasts are gone forever, and plenty of people are unhappy with the decision. After all, TBS' national reach built up lots of Braves fans not from Georgia or the South, and those looking for their team will now have to resort to more expensive methods like MLB's Extra Innings.

The dream also ended for Braves broadcaster Skip Caray, and he gave a fond farewell in Atlanta's last TBS game last night:

"The people all over the country who send you Christmas cards every year; the people who when dad passed, 5,000 of them sent notes or condolence cards; when I lost my brother the people all over the country who sent condolence cards as well - how do you thank those people and how do you say goodbye to those people? I don't know, but I'm trying to do it.

"You all must know how we feel and how I feel about you. You brought me back five years ago when they tried to bury me on television. The executives didn't [bring me back]; you did.

"... To all you people who have watched the Braves for these 30 years ... thank you. We appreciate you more than you will ever know. ... When we first came on the air on TBS, which was then WTCG, the big TV shows were M*A*S*H, Dallas, Laverne & Shirley, Happy Days and Charlie's Angels. We outlasted them all. The only one that beat us was 60 Minutes."

Somewhere, Mike Wallace (aggressively pictured at right) is cackling with glee, twisting and poking his Ted Turner voodoo doll, looking every bit the tanned-leather evil demon he appears on Sunday nights. And somewhere in Kansas, or South Dakota, or wherever, Braves fans are being welcomed to the life most of us already know: as slaves to MLB.com.

Kyle Busch and Mike Wallace had some nice words for each other after today's race:

Busch: "[Wallace] was racing [Newman] there for no reason when he was already a lap down. I tried getting on the inside of [Newman] and thought better of it because I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. I just waited for [Newman] and [Wallace] to figure out what was going to happen, and then [Edwards] just ran over the back of me.

"Lapped cars don't give way to the leaders when they're already a lap down [and] they're going a second lap down. [Wallace] was pathetic today, absolutely outrageously stupid ... He was just being a complete moron."

How do you really feel, Kyle?

Wallace: "When you're a completely arrogant individual like Kyle Busch is, when you've had everything perfect ... I'm not even sure, I never raced him all day. When NASCAR is good enough to allow you to pit under caution and give you your position back, I think that's pretty pathetic, first of all. And then he's bitching at me? I wasn't a lap down. I'm not sure what his deal is."

I'm not sure what his deal is either. Maybe he'd have a point if Wallace was already a lap down, but he wasn't. And I sure can't argue with Wallace on the Busch arrogance claim. Besides, if the #5 had been in the same position as Wallace, there is no way he would give way to the leader so the 2nd place car could get on with passing him. No way.

I never took Shrub for a whiner or fingerpointer. Have I been overlooking it or is this a new thing?