Sports Commentary
Roger Clemens apologized Monday for unspecified mistakes in his personal life. Apparently, he wanted to specify what those mistakes were, but he misremembered them.
June 7, 2008: Plymouth Argyle goalkeeper Luke McCormick is charged with causing death by dangerous driving, driving with excess alcohol and driving without insurance after a fatal accident over the weekend.
Christopher Furlong, Getty Images
June 7, 2008: Bears running back Cedric Benson is arrested for the second time in just over a month for an alcohol-related offense, this time in Austin after failing a sobriety test.
Charlie Neibergall, AP
June 6, 2008: North Carolina guard Ty Lawson is charged with driving after consuming alcohol. Police noticed loud music and the smell of alcohol coming from his vehicle.
Kevin C. Cox, Getty Images
June 5, 2008: Ex-NBA player Chris Herren faces several charges, including driving under the influence of drugs, after crashing into a utility pole.
Otto Greule Jr., Allsport
June 4, 2008: Former NFL player Steve Foley is charged with a felony for failing to secure his dogs after his pit bulls attacked a woman and killed her puppy.
Ronald Martinez, Getty Images
June 4, 2008: Patriots lineman Nick Kaczur was arrested in April on a charge of illegal possession of oxycodone, according to the Boston Globe. The report said Kaczur then helped federal authorities in a sting operation that resulted in the indictment of a supplier.
Getty Images
June 3, 2008: X Games star Brian Patch faces a felony charge for allegedly having sex with a 15-year-old girl.
Adam Pretty, Getty Images
June 1, 2008: Buffalo police are trying to find out if Bills running back Marshawn Lynch was behind the wheel during a hit-and-run incident in the nightclub section of the city.
Paul Jasienski, Getty Images
May 29, 2008: The former Minnesota football player is sentenced to a year in the county workhouse after being convicted of criminal sexual conduct.
Lisa Blumenfeld, Getty Images
May 25, 2008: Authorities in Florida charge Chicago Bulls forward and former Florida star Joakim Noah with possession of marijuana and having an open container of alcohol.
Nam Y. Huh, AP
If only Clemens were alone up there in the latest round of headlines involving stupid athlete tricks. In the past few days alone, we have heard of Cedric Benson’s boating escapades, Marvin Harrison’s possible link to a shooting, Josh Howard’s marijuana habit and Tim Montgomery’s alleged involvement in a heroin-distribution ring.
Which brings us to Charles Barkley. As usual, the Chuckster was right. Unless you’re thinking of a career behind bars or on a hot seat in front of Congress, you probably don’t want an athlete for a role model.
Not that all the sports news is bad these days. I don’t know about you, but I was relieved to hear that Steelers draftee Rashard Mendenhall was the victim, not the perpetrator, of an armed robbery. Not only that, USA Today hasn’t devoted half of its sports section lately to mug shots of NFL troublemakers.
Makes you think there’s hope for today’s athletes, doesn’t it? Well there isn’t. By now, you’re wondering when the insanity will end, but it won’t. Not now, not ever. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell can keep laying down all the laws he wants, but the players will keep right on breaking them.
Not all players, of course. Relatively few, in fact. The problem is that every one of them, the Hall of Famers down to the career special teamers, fits a certain profile. They’ll all young, good looking, rich and famous. Which, through no fault of their own, makes everyone who isn’t young, good looking, rich and famous resent the bejeebers out of them.
And then you add alcohol to the mix. Ever notice when and where most of the trouble occurs for today’s athletes? Hint: It isn’t early afternoon at the bingo parlor. It’s usually in a nightclub, often one in which women take off their clothes, and it’s almost always in the middle of the night, when Jack Daniel and the Budweiser frogs do most of the thinking.
The answer, of course, is for all those young, good looking, rich and famous athletes to stay out of those kinds of places after the sun goes down. But that’s easier said than done. Why? Because today’s athletes have too much money for their own good. They can do what they want, where they want, when they want.
SAN DIEGO - July 17: Cheyenne Woods, niece of Tiger Woods, tees off the 10th hole during the 2nd Round of the Junior World Golf Championships on July 17, 2002 at the Lawrence Welk Resort in San Diego, California. (Photo by Dolanld Miralle/Getty Images)
Dolanld Miralle, Getty Images
Fans watch as a ball that popped loose out of New York Yankees' Johnny Damon's glove rests momentarily on the fence before dropping to the ground during the third inning against the Boston Red Sox in Major League Baseball action Friday, July 4, 2008 at Yankee Stadium in New York. Damon made a leaping attempt on a hit by Red Sox's Kevin Youkilis. Two runs scored on the play. Damon left the game after the play. (AP Photo/Julie Jacobson)
Julie Jacobson, AP
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JULY 05: Jockey Craig Durden rolls after falling from Toulouse Lautrec the first time around in the Cleanevent Grand National Steeplechase during the Cleanevent Grand National Steeple Day meeting at Flemington Racecourse on July 5, 2008 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo by Mark Dadswell/Getty Images)
Mark Dadswell, Getty Images
Chaunte Howard clears the bar during the women's high jump final at the U.S. Olympic Track and Field Trials in Eugene, Ore., Friday, July 4, 2008. Howard finished in first place to earn a place on the U.S. Olympic team. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)
Charlie Riedel, AP
Seattle Mariners center fielder Jeremy Reed dives to catch a fly ball from Detroit Tigers' Gary Sheffield in the second inning of a baseball game Thursday, July 3, 2008, in Seattle. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)
Elaine Thompson, AP
In this photo provided by Six Flags St. Louis, Robbie Knievel jumps 25 Dodge cars at Six Flags St. Louis, traveling at approximately 85 mph off of a 25-foot ramp and flying some 25-feet into the air on Thursday, July 3, 2008, in St. Louis, Mo. Robbie dedicated the jump to his Dad, Evel Knievel. (AP Photo/Six Flags St. Louis, James Visser)
James Visser, Six Flags St. Louis / AP
San Diego Padres' Michael Barrett, center, is helped by an unidentified trainer, left, and manager Bud Black after Barrett was hit in the bridge of the nose by a foul tip in the third inning of a Major League Baseball game against the Colorado Rockies in Denver on Wednesday, July 2, 2008. (David Zalubowski, AP)
David Zalubowski, AP
Serena Williams of the US., reacts after winning her Women's Singles semifinal match against China's Zheng Jie on the Centre Court at Wimbledon, Thursday, July 3 , 2008. (Kirsty Wigglesworth, AP)
Kirsty Wigglesworth, AP
BHP Billiton China President Clinton Dines holds a Beijing Olympic Games gold medal before an official handing over ceremony in Beijing July 3, 2008. The Beijing organisers took possession of the 3,000 medals for next month's Olympics in a ceremony near Tiananmen Square on Thursday, 36 days before the start of the Games. (David Gray, Reuters)
David Gray, Reuters
OMAHA, NE - JULY 02: Brendan Hansen competes in the preliminary heats of the 200 meter breaststroke during the U.S. Swimming Olympic Trials on July 2, 2008 at the Qwest Center in Omaha, Nebraska. (Donald Miralle, Getty Images)
Donald Miralle, Getty Images
As we all know, it’s not supposed to be that way. Young people weren’t meant to have money. Even young doctors and lawyers don’t have money. Young people are supposed to be starving artists. They’re supposed to struggle to make ends meet. They’re supposed to eat at McDonald’s and drive beaters and have roommates so they can make the rent payment.
Young people weren’t meant to have posses and Bentleys and diamonds in their ear lobes. Young people weren’t meant to be rich until they’re old people, until they aren’t dangerous anymore, until the biggest mistake they can make is wearing a plaid sportscoat to the country club.
What, you don’t think money is the root of all trouble in today’s sports world? Take the case of Pacman Jones. His strip-club fiasco in Las Vegas began when he showered the stage with $81,000 in cash. That may have been pocket change to Pacman, but it wasn’t to the previous generation of jocks.
Back in the day, many of the writers covering the team made more than the players. To wit: Twenty years ago, the minimum salary in Major League Baseball was $62,500. Thirty years ago, it was $21,000. Granted, I could be wrong, but I’m thinking those guys weren’t tossing around 81 grand at the local skin inn.
Today’s players make Monopoly money. And no, I’m not just talking about Tiger Woods and LeBron James, who made $100 million in endorsements after turning pro, or Jake Long, the first pick in the NFL draft, who received $30 million in guaranteed money before ever breaking a sweat.
The waiver-wire candidates are rich, too. The minimum salary in the NBA is almost $430,000 — a year, not a career. The average salary in baseball is more than $2 million. What, you’re going to hand a kid in his 20s that kind of cash and not expect any problems? Not a chance.
Money can buy you a table dance, but it can’t buy love. And, as far too many of today’s athletes are discovering, it can’t buy something else, too.
Common sense.
Jim Armstrong is a sports columnist for The Denver Post. Feel free to e-mail him at dontmissjim@aol.com.
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